(no subject)

cab leaves in twenty minutes
plane leaves in three hours

how do you spell relief?

finding your Chilean tourist visa
[which you need to leave the country]
twenty minutes ago

am pretty jazzed
all in all
have been here far too long

you know how you have been someplace too long

it when the housekeeping staff adopts you
and dotes on you
and
the bellhops keep an eye out
for attractive women and
set up dinner dates
between you

yes this actually happened
a few days ago
she was a reasonably intelligent
and quite good looking
Argentinean woman

we had a wonderful dinner
and talked for some time
and
wonder of wonders
when she invited me up to her room
for a drink

I declined

I still haven't figured out
why
completely
but I wager
it has something to do with
me
wanting more
and
just maybe thinking more
is not as remote and far off
as it once was

who knows
I
sure don't

I will spend the next two weeks
on a research project
studying river dolphins
and I do not know what my net access will be like
so
if you don't hear from me
that is why

either that or my head is
decorating a wall somewhere
[or perhaps in some lovelys]
[prada handbag]

first impressions

I am not an alcoholic
but
i pack like one

contained in various parts
of my luggage
are the following

two fifths of decent but not good bourbon
a fifth of decent but not good scotch
a fifth of decent but not good tequila
three bottles of mighty tasty red wine
three bottles of mighty tasty white wine
bottle of 93 cuvee dom perignon
[fuck the amex card]
[this is what you shouldnt leave home without]
four bottles of pommery pop brut
[on sale at duty free and i have heard good things]

oh and i found a bookstore with
english language books
dropped well over a hundred bucks
should hold me through the end of the
month
YAY

anyway
things i have noticed about brazil

red polyester pants
worn in camel toes fashion
are very popular.

they hang this discs from the top
of urinals for sanitation purposes
i guess you are suppose to aim for em?

portuguese is far more different
from spanish than i expected
what is up with that

look i can understand
france and germany having different languages
for a couple of reasons
first off no one with any amount
of self respect should ever be forced to speak french
and
secondly the french probably
would have trouble with german

but look
if you live next to each other
either speak a completely different language
or
line the shit up straight
rather than create side by side
languages that are similar enough
that you cant tell em apart
but have vastly different meanings

ok end dumbass american rant

oh i finally got to play
on an xbox in duty free
i was kicking ass in the
geriatric and deceased catagory
of competition

ode to arrogance ... or ... it is not easy being green

let me just say
that

i am a god

you may continue
to worship me as you see fit
preferrably continuing along the current lines
of excessive sexual favours

btw I will be out of touch for the next
couple of weeks the village i am staying in
doesnt have internet access, i may pop
into town once or twice
during that time but time will be limited

for the first time in months
i have access to a kitchen
and
it is divine

i have planned a menu for the
next week for my fellow volunteers
and the permenant staff

whipped up a spur of the moment lunch
penne with homemade sauce
[red wine based marinara]
i
adore making pasta sauce
from scratch

a simple lunch
perhaps
but i recieved two
wedding proposals out of it

i doubt i would
be nearly as egotistical
is
i wasnt so damn good at it

[of course]
[with an excessive amount]
[of delightful wine and]
[bourbon running through my veins]
[it is quite easy]

and i find my thoughts
more
and more
distant as
days go by

some things
will definately need to be
massaged into reality


but anyway
my loves
be well
i will return in time
to regal you
with tales of
culinary debauchery