of humor and too much information

i have
been meaning to share
this
for a few days

but it always seems
to slip my mind

anyway
a few days ago

resting in bed
enjoying a cigarette
in naked bliss

i attempted to adjust
both my drink
and my ashtray
at the same time

unfortunately
i am not this coordinated
and
i
knocked the cherry
of my cigarette

into a most delicate
place

several screams, howls
and primordial leaps
later

the crisis was over
but
i had suffered
a grievous wound

yes that's right
i
singed the family jewels

and now you
too
can share my shame

isnt the internet great?

(no subject)

i have been
observing everyone who
is everyone
or something like that anyway
in
lj land posting about
people who have the most common
interest

someone on my friends list
even posted a link

so i got all excited
and thought i would check it
out for myself

i clicked the link
and then while waiting for it load
smacked myself on the forehead

for i realized
that i have never
nor really care to now
defined any interests

so as you can imagine
when the page loaded
the results were less than
fascinating

borrowed wisdom

Fate is what we call it
when we dont know
the name of the bastard
that is
screwing us

(no subject)

there is something
particularly nice
about picking up a phone
and
moments later
having a nice glass
of scotch in your hand

a few quotations

War is God's way
of teaching Americans
geography.
-Ambrose Bierce

Eloquence is a painting of the thoughts.
-Blaise Pascal

An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.
-Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

Won't you come into the garden?
I would like my roses to see you.
-Richard Brinsley Sheridan

(  more thoughts to ponder )