A monster i am, for i know no other way

absolutely heartless
would be a compliment

to one of my
diminished value

no
i suppose that alludes
to once having worth

which i have only had
in the illusions of others

unfortunately
i am not even blessed
with heartlessness
but merely
a pathetic wretch
with
a miserable excuse
resting in place
of a soul

those far wiser
than i
have said
that you know not
what you have
until it is gone

this seems to be a lesson
i am
unable to learn

in my eternal sickness
i can only
value
that which
i
mourn