Tales from beyond the net ... or ... what exactly was I up to

Episode 9

A Question of judgment

the scene

During the Sea kayaking phase of my outward bound course

Our Fearless leaders aka instructors
were conducting a seminar on Judgment
how to have good judgment and
prevent poor judgment

we were located on a rather pleasant white sand beach
the seminar was going rather well i thought
and judging by the semi-glazed eyes of my
teammates they must have agreed
we were learning all about the cycle of
education, experience and review
all of which provides the foundation of good judgment
our little seminar was coming to an end
when it was hesitantly interrupted by
a reticent and particularly embarrassed fellow
we paused and gave him our attention
and he informed us that he had been fishing
that he had caught a five foot shark
and his boat had mysteriously drifted out to sea
and would we be able to help him get it back
as it would be a long swim home from the island
we currently occupied

we quickly agreed and in getting the
specifics from the gentleman in question
i observed that he was without doubt
under the influence of some pretty kind bud

myself and one of the instructors [whom we called Telson] decided to wade out
to where his boat was and retrieve it
as the water was only two to three feet deep
for the first half mile off shore
[aren't nautical charts great]
we could see his boat in the distance
drifting off to the wide open sea

we amused ourselves with
the timely concurrence of such an
obvious instance of bad judgment
with our little seminar on judgment

we didn't stop to ponder
why the gentleman in question
had failed to wade out and retrieve his boat
in such shallow waters
we did however make light of his bravado
and general incompetence in this regard

the fact that the water quickly became deeper
than our charts listed went without much notice
it was high tide anyway
we moved from wading to swimming without
effort or regard

after about an half an hour swim
we reached the drifting boat
which at that moment still contained
his fishing pole
which had apparently in the mans absence
acquired and new and rather feisty
victim

we eased ourselves over the gunwales of the craft
and watched with amusement as the fishing pole
leapt from the craft and briefly circled the boat
before heading out to sea with uncommon speed

ah we were in luck the ragged boat
had a motor
my faithful instructor pulled the cord
to start the motor and was greatly dismayed
to find the pull handle and cord in one hand
and no longer connected to the engine for the boat

we looked around and found two paddles
in well it would be generous to call them good condition
and struck off from shore

now those of you who are nautically inclined
may appreciate the detail of our predicament
we were approximately a mile offshore
roughly an hour past high tide
with an offshore wind of approximately ten knots
in a twelve foot aluminum dinghy
which we had so gallantly rescued
the thought occurred to me
that rather than rescuing the craft
we may have just joined its fate
and Old Silas would have his way after all

not to be disenchanted with the
glorious nature of our rescue
Telson and I stuck out with our paddles
and with gusto paddled towards the island

after about twenty minutes
we noticed that our efforts were not
gaining much ground and paused bemused
it was at this point that we first noticed the shark
it was a beautiful creature about ten to twelve feet long
and gliding through glistening clear waters
which only scant minutes before we had been swimming

with little other option
we grinned and paddled on
a while later noticing we had made some progress
but that land was at least half a mile off
and the wind and tide was pushing us off target
without care we would miss the island altogether
we made an appropriate course correction
and continued
it was at this point
where i noticed the second and third sharks
each of the same approximate size and length
as the first
at this point we had to reconsider
who exactly had the poor judgment
with regard to swimming out to rescue an
otherwise worthless boat

i humored myself briefly with
the details of maritime salvage laws
which state that a boat adrift without
occupants was considered the property of
whomever claimed the vessel from the high seas
my moment of elation at this point of law
was promptly deflated when i remembered
that the craft was, as i mentioned before
utterly worthless

anyway this thoughts helped
take my mind off the arduous task
of paddling the vessel back to land
and the rather disconcerting fact
that we were continuing to see sharks
of various size
to say that the waters were
shark infested would
unduly promote the word infested
above its rightly statue among its fellow
adjectives

one fact which became clear to me
only upon my landing upon the island
was the the gentleman in question
was a shark-fisherman
and those who fish
and fish for shark specifically
tend to go to places
where sharks are present
in this case
the man had picked a spot
where even a someone with a significant
mental handicap such as himself
and while under the influence of both
marijuana and alcohol could still not fail
to catch a shark

anyway to wrap up the story
we did eventually manage to
return to shore and return the vessel
to its owner who was surprisingly
demonstrating intelligence beyond
his otherwise proven means
and remaining on dry land

in reward for the foolhardy rescue
of his craft he provided us with
two pounds of shark for our crew to enjoy

and while i no longer eat
shark or similar creatures
i allowed myself to be recruited
and marinated the shark flesh
simply with lemon and a few other spices
before preparing and serving
blacken shark appetizers to my crew
[albeit after the dinner was served]
[but why be picky after a day like that]

Death Speaks ...

there was a merchant in jerusalem
who sent his servant to buy provisions
and in a little while the servant came back,
white and trembling and said

"master, just now when i was in the marketplace
i was jostled by a woman in the crowd and
when i turned i saw it was death that jostled me
she looked at me and made a threatening guesture;
now lend me your horse and i will ride away from this city
and avoid my fate. i will go to cairo and there death will not find me."

the merchant lent him his horse and the servant mounted it
dug in his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop he went.

then the merchant went down to the marketplace and
he saw me standing in the crowd
and he came to me and said

"why did you make a threatening guesture to my servant
when you saw him this morning?"

"that was not a threatening guesture"
i said
"it was only a start of surprise.
i was astonished to see him in jerusalem,
for i had an appointment with him
tonight in cairo"





- author unknown

(no subject)

so i
ventured out today to perform the following tasks

Locate the Brazilian Consulate and obtain a tourist visa
i first located the embassy and from there managed to find the consulate
but apparently they don't do visas on mondays so I have to go back tomorrow

Locate the National Synagogue and find out the location of the Orthodox Synagogue in Santiago
I located the National Synagogue but it was closed, I was told to return at six as it would be open for services
but as it is six now, and I am not feeling up to venturing out for a bit.

Buy a pair of black dressy-ish shoes and perhaps even some nicer clothes
as i have only khakis and short sleeve button ups

complete and utter failure
i went to two different malls
and into what seemed to be rather upscale department stores
ala Nordstroms back home
i was unable to find the mens shoe department in either
in one i located a department selling mens athletic shoes
but was unable to find those of a more formal nature

however for the most part
i do not regret my lack of conversational spanish
it is improving and in the mean time
i am enjoying the adventures it brings
every meal has been most exciting with
me having only the slightest idea what exactly
i have ordered and in some cases
even what i am eating
[generally it is chicken something or other]

and i have noticed
to mine own amusement that
my grace with accents and pronunciation
has only increased my difficulties
as i generally only know
how to ask for what i want
or where i am going and
people tend to assume that my
spanish is better than it is
when i begin to speak
only to find me utterly clueless
to their responding queries

ahh what joy
but with the exception of
the time I'll be living in brazil
i will be spending a lot of time
in countries that speak spanish
so
i am confidant that
either i will learn spanish
or
i will have some very amusing times
trying to fake it

ah well
i think i will relax a bit before dinner
perhaps go to the supermarket
i have not yet been but find it an interesting
place to study the life of a culture
and
afterwards i believe I will seek out
a few nightclubs for the requisite
drinking and dancing