Can you repeat that please ... or ... some people should be charged for the right to interact with o

I have
the worlds
easiest
phone
number

no
you
wouldn't even
need to
write it
down

it is that easy

you hear it
and
it is
forever
ingrained in
your mind

to everything
there is
the
exception

and tonight

I encountered him

it is a rare
thing indeed
when you meet
someone

who is
obviously
grossly under qualified
for
their
minimum wage
job

this is
a ferociously
sad
occurrence

my phone number
is like this
ABC-BCBC
123-2323
simple
repetitive

but this genius
required
not just
for me
to repeat it

but for me
to repeat it
a
grand total
of
six times

finally
requiring me
to
provide
the number
in
single digit
increments

1
2
3

2
3

2
3

the youth
of today
are not our future

they are
Jerry springers
future

they are
the future Benz
of
the drug dealer
down the street

it is
just
fucking
depressing

(no subject)

Aries: (March 21--April 19)
Your admirable decision to lead a life of honesty and moral rectitude will bring your career in advertising to a sudden and drastic end.

Taurus: (April. 20--May 20)
You will be pursued by millions of hungry, nutrition-conscious Americans when it is revealed that you are part of a complete breakfast.

Gemini: (May 21--June 21)
After six weeks, you still haven't figured out how Jonah got so much done from inside one of these things.

Cancer: (June 22--July 22)
Your habit of standing on your desk and flailing about with a fire ax will continue to be distracting and divisive at your office.

Leo: (July 23--Aug. 22)
Your striking resemblance to TV's Craig T. Nelson will somehow fail to get you laid for yet another week.

Virgo: (Aug. 23--Sept. 22)
You've always said that premature baldness never killed anybody, but the tragic events of next week will force you to eat those words.

Libra: (Sept. 23--Oct. 23)
After 12 years of living alone in the bush, you're beginning to think the damned snipe is never going to show.

Scorpio: (Oct. 24--Nov. 21)
You will go down in linguistic and polar history next week when it is discovered that the Eskimos have more than 600 words for what a big jerk you are.

Sagittarius: (Nov. 22--Dec. 21)
Next week's trials and tribulations will force you to stand tall and be a man, even though you were born short and female.

Capricorn: (Dec. 22--Jan. 19)
Though you'll certainly be proud to have your own action figure, you would have rather had one that didn't feature realistic spastic-colon action.

Aquarius: (Jan. 20--Feb. 18)
The nation is stunned by Amelia Earhart's miraculous return, especially when she knees you in the groin and shouts, "Thanks for nothing."

Pisces: (Feb. 19--March 20)
Remember, the impressive thing is not how well the bear dances. It's how incredibly sexily the bear dances.

(no subject)