(no subject)

In doing some random traveling
around LJ land
it occurred to me
I am really
not a very nice person

It probably stems from the fact
that I despise most people

Now granted
most people
never realize
that I am
as much of an asshole
as I truly am
I generally don't
waste time
trying to explain
or acting upon
my great dislike of people

I am arrogant
then again why shouldn't I be
life holds no real challenges
at least
not the consumerist life
we have been trained into

I love challenges
I want to be
constantly in a situation
which requires perfection
from me
great risk
hangs over my head
and either I make it work
or it al goes to shit

I do my best
in emergency situations
always have

something about them
brings out my perfection
I know
I cannot make a mistake
so I do not

The rest of my life
when not in crisis mode
is generally shit
I can generally be counted on
to make the wrong choice
when ever it doesn't matter

I have no morals
few ethics
though I never betray them

I hardly value human life
most people don't value
their own lives
why should I

I think that's part of the reason
I despise people so much
I want desperately
for there to be
an overall purpose
a design
a grand plan
for life

but I have no faith
to explain and make right
the things I have seen
and done

it angers, saddens and disgusts me
to see people piss away their lives
whining in misery
give me twenty-four hours
I will show them true misery

Life is truly a beautiful thing
yet most of us waste it
on irrelevant crap

Oprah

Porsche

Buffy

Tiffany's

ER

D
K
N
Y

am I any better?
who knows probably not
maybe its just worth less
to me
since I don't have to work for these things
I just fake it

I find the more
disconnected
my life is from reality
the happier I am
Ignorance really is bliss
when I let the world slide away
into a surreal dream
then everything can be perfect

for a while

and then
I get a call
dragging me
back to this rotting world
of beautiful facades

ah well
enough babbling

goodnight my loves

dream of me
in latex "Green Lantern" underoos
singing
"Somewhere over the rainbow"