My Grandfather was a man of few words...

On my 15th birthday, he informed me, that I was becoming a man, as such he would pass on the four pieces of advice his grandfather had given him.

He took me aside and handed me my birthday present which was a straight razor shaving kit,
and proceeded to dispense this advice.

1) Do not go side to side

2) Never trust a woman with cold lips

3) You are a jerk, it is part of being a man, if you are lucky, you will find a woman who can appreciate your failings, do not fail her.

4) Get Married, if you are lucky you will be divinely happy, if you are unlucky, you will become a philosopher.

While this obscure and sage advice stuck with me, I look back and realize, these few words consisted of the vast majority of the word exchanged between us.

blatant plagiarism

I am completely guilty.
The entirety of this post is lifted willy-nilly from a post by my friend
Quest
However, it rang a strong chord in me and I have been drawn back to it several times.
Today I purchased the book it is from, and will begin reading it tonight.
I couldn't resist posting it in my journal.
For the complete post which this is stolen from click here

Without further ado....

"Fucking is the same way as with everything else: what you thought you were doing was not what you were doing. What you thought you were doing was sucking and penetrating and kissing, holding, and ejaculating. What you were doing, though, was telling a story.

"First off, thing is, you got to know you got a story. Then you got to have to tell it. Knowing how to tell your story good is important, but the secret to good fucking is how well you can listen. Fucking only gets good when the two stories start being the same story --- the human-being sex story --- when the two bodies stop being two bodies and start being the big excruciating, the one heart beating.

"Most men, most sorry men, always tell the same hard-dick ejaculation story, and always got to be the one who leans hard onto. Most women, sorry women, tell this story --- which really isn't a story: You talk , I'll listen, tell me when you're done. They always end up being the one who gets leaned hard on. Doesn't work that way when you're fucking. Good fucking is bartering, wrestling, swapping tales back and forth, and telling lies till you get to the truth."

From the book "The Man who Fell in Love with the Moon," by Tom Spanbauer

unabashedly yours

plural

wild wild life, ok so may be not...

first official day of my vacation.

I awoke at 2pm an hour after my dentist appointment oops

Dilly-dallied around, writing in LJ and catching up on everyone's posts.

Went to the bank,

Went grocery shopping
bought the following

2 bags of cat food.
3 six packs of different micro-brews
6 1.5 liter bottles of Acquaint (bottled water)
1 onion
1 green pepper
1 pound of fresh rigatoni
1 portobella mushroom
1/2 lb of extra lean ground beef.

I ran into a woman in the grocery store
whom I slept with over 10 years ago.
damn she still looks good
very fuckable.

We laughed and joked for about 20 minutes,
I thought about swapping digits

I was inviting a friend over for dinner, well actually she invited herself over for some wine, and I extended it to dinner.

We had a delightful time
she decided to show me her breasts for some particular reason
while I didn't mind, we haven't exactly had that sort of relationship
not that it was in that sort of way either.

We popped a delightful bottle of Riesling while we were cooking
we were intending to open a cab for dinner but breezed right through it
so after dinner we opened a bottle of chardonnay instead

spent several hours relaxing on my deck,
glancing at the world around us

it was warm and peaceful

My phone rang out of the blue

I didn't recognize the number so I answered it in my usual fashion.

It was a recruiter for Microsoft.

We are having lunch tomorrow to discuss the opportunities at Microsoft

Life could be a lot less edifying

I quit my job on Friday

and Monday I am getting emails and phone calls from recruiters

and people wonder why I say my life has no connection to reality

ah well, I have half a bottle of chardonnay to finish and a glorious night of genuflection.

sleep well my dears

dream naughty dreams of someone appropriate

p

Factoid of the day

Journal Statistics

Opening date: 7-20-2000

Number of entries: 54

Comment posted: 177
Comments Received: 81

Number of pages of text: 92
Number of words: 32,202

I have spewed over 32,000 words since July 20th, on Livejournal alone

I must be over my quota

odd coincidence

I have an LJ friend by the name of Sans Souci
or should say had as she has deleted her journal.

anyway I just noticed an odd and to me perhaps appropriate fact.

Microsoft's spell check seeks to replace the words "Sans Souci"
with

"Sensuous"

what to make of it I know not, but I did find it amusing.

p