The required fun entry as dictated by Halsted...

A new fun game to play, has kept me up far too late tonight...

Basic concept..

Computer Randomly chooses letters which all players can see, players get 60 seconds to create an Acronym with those letters.

You must go here

Recent posts of a not exactly uplifting nature

I don't know how to express this exactly so if it comes off a little wrong please bear with me...

I have had many of intense experiences in my life, in most cases I brought the things that happened to me upon myself, be they good or bad.

I am human.
I hurt, I cry, I fuck things up royally,
I love, I laugh, I giggle uncontrollably.

Having felt the extremes of the spectrum,
where joy and despair become equally painful,
and are too great for my frail body to contain.

I loved a woman beyond my comprehension,
I would cry myself to sleep with her in my arms,
because I knew no other way to release the intensity of joy and passion that I felt.

Yes, she was taken from me, and much sooner that I would have liked.

Yes, I would have traded my worthless life in a heartbeat for hers.

But we aren't given those choices....

a simple choice....

To go on without her, or to end my own life.

As usual, I failed that test too, made the wrong choice...

obviously something stopped me, I couldn't go through with it.

Perhaps it was cowardice.

Perhaps some part of me realized how disappointed she would be if I did such a stupid selfish thing.

I guess what I am trying to say, is that when I look back on what we had,
I remember the joy and the love far more strongly than the pain and the loss.

Sure the pain kicks my ass from time to time,
but I am able to revisit the joy of her life, of our time together
and pull strength to move through the deepest despair.

A moment of what we had,
justified every ounce of pain,
I have ever felt in my life.

If I lived to be ninety and never smiled again.
I would not trade that lifetime of misery,
for a single memory of a single moment with her.