There is something within that knows this. To alternate between one self and the other self.. to peel down to a deep layer to the me that is afraid of everything - most, afraid of being alone. and to KNOW.. some way, though unseen that there ALREADY IS a layer deeper which is balanced, centered, peaceful, free of fear, confident and completely loved and lovable.. the confidence from whence the person I know I want to be springs. That seems to be the true self.
The Fear. God it hurts and stifles and binds and most the time you hide it under idealism and expectations and things it is you think you want.. but then when you get a little more honest with yourself, you peel the layer and see it.. and it looks ugly.
I am minded to know.. from my truest self.. that it is not real.. the fear does not exist. the world is indeed the way I know it should be... just give me a few moments in cosmic time to realize it. Like sunlilght is the energy.. and darkness is merely the belief that you are absent from it.. Love is the only real force.. fear when you think it doesn't shine on you.
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This resonates.
Date: 2000-09-28 11:41 pm (UTC)The Fear. God it hurts and stifles and binds and most the time you hide it under idealism and expectations and things it is you think you want.. but then when you get a little more honest with yourself, you peel the layer and see it.. and it looks ugly.
I am minded to know.. from my truest self.. that it is not real.. the fear does not exist. the world is indeed the way I know it should be... just give me a few moments in cosmic time to realize it. Like sunlilght is the energy.. and darkness is merely the belief that you are absent from it.. Love is the only real force.. fear when you think it doesn't shine on you.