strangers by blood ... or ... the death of the american family

[plural]

my family
like many others
has
a past both
sordid and genteel

spending seven days
with twenty-seven members
of my family
definatly biased my
thinking towards the
former.

the overwhelming conclusion
I came to observing
the various interactions
of various sorts between
various people

was that
we had a group
of twenty seven people
who at the very least
shared one common trait

a trait which oddly
was no where present
during this gathering

All of these people
are professionals
in one way or another

granted professionalism
is easy when
you know
that your dinner
isnt dependant on
your continued employment.

Why is it that
we often treat
strangers with more
respect and dignity
than we treat our
families.

One of my aunts
once said.

"The nice thing about family is that you can be completely honest"

I think thats a load of crap,

People arent honest with family
they are careless

saying anything you want
is quite different
than speaking honestly

for all the talk of searching
for the grace of honesty
the supply will be perpetually
in excess of the demand

We dont want
honesty and truth

the truth is we
all know the truth

you dont suddenly realize
that you have a problem
you suddenly
admit
that you have a problem

and no one truely
want the truth
which they work so
hard to avoid
shoved in their face.

most people
are not honest
with their families
in any way
and
I am
no different

we dont tell
them the honest
truth we couch it
perhaps each
in our own way
for various motivations

but mostly
we say or hurt each other
out of carelessness

you
are more capable
of being hurtful
to your family
than
any other people
because you
know their faults
every fissure
in their character

and
in my opinion
it is incumbent on you
to take care
with words and
actions
to nuture those wounds
and not to
strike them.

I attempt
to couch
i.e. be dishonest
with my family
in a particular way

I know their
weakness and
when something needs
to be addressed
rather than striking
brutally with my exposed
and unguarded view
of their failings
to
approach them
in such a way
that they can
hear my concerns
without feeling
attacked
and wounded.

I fail at this
continuously

so without
any true conclusions
I simply ask of you

why is it
that we do not
extend the same
common courtesies
to our families as
we
do
to
strangers
on the
street?

Comments

[puissance.livejournal.com]

my family is the stranger on the street.

[plural.livejournal.com]

i
miss
you

[kansaschica.livejournal.com]

"People arent honest with family
they are careless"

I hear you. That's how mine is... it's like they figure it's safe to say whatever they want, to be mean even, because they think that family will always have to stick together.

But it's not true.