Now hear this ... chain mail spam et al

[plural]

To all those
who insist
on sending me
those insipid
chain letters

I present for you
a therapeutic mantra

repeat the following:

"I won't get bad luck,
lose my friends,
lose my mailing lists,
if I don't forward this.

Bill Gates is not
going to send me money,

Victoria's Secret doesn't know anything
about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me

and

Ford will not give me a 50% percent discount
even if I did forwarded this e-mail to more than 50 people!!

I will never receive
gift certificates, coupons or freebies from
Coke Cola,Cracker Barrel, or Old Navy
if I send this to 10 people
who don't know
who the hell I am anyway.

Don't be stupid!

I will never see a pop up window if I forward this ....

My phone will not mysteriously ring after I forward this.
There is no such thing as an email tracker,
and I am not stupid enough to think that
someone will send me $100
for forwarding this to 10 or more people.

There is no kid with cancer
that through the Make a Wish program in England
is collecting anything.
He did when he was 7 yrs old.
He is now cancer free and 35
and doesn't want any more damn postcards

The government does not have a bill in congress
called 602P (or whatever they named it this week)
that if passed will enable them
to charge us .05 cents for every sent e-mail.

Write your congress person if you want the facts!!

There will be no cool dancing,
singing, waving, colorful flower, character,or program
that I will receive immediately after I forward this.

People are just trying to talk me into doing it
to make me look like a fool.

There are obviously a lot of fools out there!

The American Red Cross will not
donate .50 cents to a certain individual
dying of some never heard of before disease
for every email address I send this to.

The American Red Cross accepts donations,
they don't make donations!

And finally,

I will not let others guilt trip me into sending things
on to my friends for fear they will think I am not their friend...
or by telling me I have no conscience
or that I don't believe in god.

If god wants to send me a message,
I believe the bushes in my yard will burn
before he picks up a PC to pass it along...
but even if it does come by e-mail,

he will send me one at which point
I'm sure
I will know it will be from him.

and if he does,
I'm sure he will care enough
to delete all those annoying forwards in it!

Now,
repeat this 4 times to yourself
until you've memorized it

and
then send it along to at least 5 of your friends
before the next full moon or
you will be constipated for the next 3 months!
(This Last sentence is a joke.)

Comments

[puissance.livejournal.com]

so clever!

Lola!!!

[plural.livejournal.com]

mmmm
how ya been dahlin,
its been far too long...

I am rushing out to
go shopping
but
we must talk soon

Re: Plural!!!

[puissance.livejournal.com]

i've been absolutely wonderful, thank you for asking. how're you?
hasn't it though.

shopping,
aren't you a delight,
all sugar coated.

amber is the most eeenchanting girl in the world. i adore both her

& you,
we'll have to talk.
most definitely.

you & yours, sometime.
cocktails.

[kansaschica.livejournal.com]

I agree!

[daydream.livejournal.com]

bravo! I very much enjoyed reading that and laughing since it is all true (save for the last sentance unless yer eating too much dairy, or getting too much iron in yer diet :oP )

hey... I am adding ya to my friend's list too... I can dig yer journal as well :o)

*hugs*

Wendi

*grin*

[plural.livejournal.com]

Welcome,
always good to have
another mind to pollute with
our shared breed of
insanity.

Re: *grin*

[daydream.livejournal.com]

agreed :o)