Now hear this ... chain mail spam et al

[plural]

To all those
who insist
on sending me
those insipid
chain letters

I present for you
a therapeutic mantra

repeat the following:

"I won't get bad luck,
lose my friends,
lose my mailing lists,
if I don't forward this.

Bill Gates is not
going to send me money,

Victoria's Secret doesn't know anything
about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me

and

Ford will not give me a 50% percent discount
even if I did forwarded this e-mail to more than 50 people!!

I will never receive
gift certificates, coupons or freebies from
Coke Cola,Cracker Barrel, or Old Navy
if I send this to 10 people
who don't know
who the hell I am anyway.

Don't be stupid!

I will never see a pop up window if I forward this ....

My phone will not mysteriously ring after I forward this.
There is no such thing as an email tracker,
and I am not stupid enough to think that
someone will send me $100
for forwarding this to 10 or more people.

There is no kid with cancer
that through the Make a Wish program in England
is collecting anything.
He did when he was 7 yrs old.
He is now cancer free and 35
and doesn't want any more damn postcards

The government does not have a bill in congress
called 602P (or whatever they named it this week)
that if passed will enable them
to charge us .05 cents for every sent e-mail.

Write your congress person if you want the facts!!

There will be no cool dancing,
singing, waving, colorful flower, character,or program
that I will receive immediately after I forward this.

People are just trying to talk me into doing it
to make me look like a fool.

There are obviously a lot of fools out there!

The American Red Cross will not
donate .50 cents to a certain individual
dying of some never heard of before disease
for every email address I send this to.

The American Red Cross accepts donations,
they don't make donations!

And finally,

I will not let others guilt trip me into sending things
on to my friends for fear they will think I am not their friend...
or by telling me I have no conscience
or that I don't believe in god.

If god wants to send me a message,
I believe the bushes in my yard will burn
before he picks up a PC to pass it along...
but even if it does come by e-mail,

he will send me one at which point
I'm sure
I will know it will be from him.

and if he does,
I'm sure he will care enough
to delete all those annoying forwards in it!

Now,
repeat this 4 times to yourself
until you've memorized it

and
then send it along to at least 5 of your friends
before the next full moon or
you will be constipated for the next 3 months!
(This Last sentence is a joke.)