plural

can anyone remind me
what the deal is
with those heart and crown rings
I think they're Irish or something

I spent four mind blinding hours
with the designer
tonight
and
have most of the furnishings
picked out for the house

still have to double check
a few measurements
get someone to come measure the total sq footage
of the flooring as I'm considering putting in a bamboo floor

and figure out some better lighting options
for a couple of rooms

but tonight we got the following figured out

library
dressing room
master bedroom
living room
guest bedroom
media room

the office I already had pretty much figured out
the bathrooms and kitchen will only need minor touches
and the dining room is essentially set
unless I decide to put a bar or something in there

which leaves only the

wonder room

as in I wonder what I am going to do with it
you see I've never made use of that room
not once
it was originally designed as the "girlfriends room"
no
not the room for storing girlfriends
[although I like how you think]
but rather
the room I reserved for the girlfriend
to make her own
have her own space

well, that and the walk in closet
because I am after all a realist

I thought about having a custom table made
in the shape of a large question mark
and placing it in the middle of the room

then when people ask why it is the only piece of furniture in the room
I can smile and inform them that it is the wonder room
and when they ask why it is called the wonder room
I can just smirk and say

I wonder

yeah
I'm a geek
but a geek with a heart

you see
I decided to start a charity the other day
raise funds to help deaf children
buy

mittens

I slay myself
seriously

you really have no idea

how good it is to be the king

since I
cancelled my date tonight

none of my damn friends
are answering their damn phones
so
I'm sitting at home
trying to decide what to do

I'm half tempted
to relax
have a drink
and watch episodes of the west wing

but
part of me
rather feels like going out

I'm just not sure where

after a great week

I went shopping today
although my heart wasn't in it

I checked out this company
that makes a special type of glass
so that you can have a LCD TV mounted on the wall
and when it is turned off it looks like a mirror

but
they are smoking crack

I later looked at a Bravia TV of the same size
which had a nicer image and better inputs
and was a third the price

sure the idea of having a tv disappear is swell
but for three times the cost it is a bit ridiculous

after that
I swung by coach and got a new wallet and a new belt
two things which I've been in dire need of
and
then swung by BR to find a pair of slacks
or a new overcoat
but found nothing which interested me
so
instead I bought a new pair of shoes at cole haan
and
gorged myself on sushi

oh in other news
I heard through the grapevine
that little miss from last night
is actually a mrs
so
I going to politely decline
as
that sort of drama
I just do not need

anyway
as always

it is good to be the king

I woke up this morning
ok
this afternoon

my first thoughts
were on the fairly intense dreams
which had enveloped me in my sleep

there were two which
remained fresh in my mind

one in which
I was building a new house
and getting married
to not one, or even two
but three lovely lasses
among my lj friends

I remember which ones in fact
but what fun would it be to share that

although I was amused
that the three in question
are women I've flirted with
but more in the realm of flirting for fun
than flirting with intent

now the peculiar thing
about this dream
is that I am a monogamous man
inherently [if also serially]
I've done the whole threesome and moresome
thing
but
it is generally more trouble than it is worth
and
I'd rather focus my intensity
on a single woman

an undivided focus
is a sexy thing

so even my dreams
rarely feature such a thing

however in this dream
it was pretty awesome
and I am not speaking sexually
although I have full confidence
in each of the women's abilities
in that department

it was in the area of life management
where the dream excelled
two of us worked high powered highly lucrative careers
[it is fuzzy but I'm pretty sure we owned the business]
one of us took care of the children and managed the household/help
and the last filled the role of personal assistant to the rest
to keep us all exceedingly well organized

everything hummed along quite smoothly
we all slept together in a massive shared bed
but also had individual bedrooms
for our personal possessions and privacy when desired

there was more than enough income
to afford all the toys we desired
[I recall a nice sixty foot sailboat specifically]
and plenty of people to share the responsibilities
so you always had someone to cover for you
and time to yourself if you so desired

...

the other dream
I'll keep to myself
as I think it has far more to do with my past
bleeding into my present
and dealt with skills
I'd prefer not to use again

anyway
back to the original point of this post
after I woke
I thought some on those dreams
brushed my teeth
washed my face
went into my office for a smoke
and to check my email

it was sitting there
that I realized that I had been sweating in my sleep
[I forgot to turn the thermostat down last night]
[as I was drunk]
[and I haven't yet set it on a schedule yet]
and
I was a stinky mess

so I finished my cigarette
jumped in the shower

problem solved

No Nodoro needed.

I am home now
and
sitting at my computer
with a large glass of bourbon (and ice)

looking over the results of tonights poll
and
I just want to say

that I fully expect
those of you
who have had pornographic photos taken of you
[whether hardcore or softcore]
to share them with me

I mean
seriously
what else are friends for?

oh and I've screened comments for the few of you who are shy....

"Sex is the form of masturbation with the most realistic porn"

I called comcast
[my cable internet provider]

Went through their menu
got placed in the queue to hold for a representative

hold music kicked in
played half a song
then the phone started screeching
in a way that resembled microphone feedback
only worse

I waited for a little bit
to see if it would be better
then called back

went through the phone tree
and received the following message
at the point where I got hold music before

"I'm sorry, our representatives are unable to take your call as they are participating in a disaster drill, they will be available to help you in approximately one half hour."

So anyway I had stuff to do
so I did it and called them back

There was a little interference on the line
[for some reason my cordless gets a lot of that here]
so I asked her to wait for one second while I switched channels

there was some noise
then the line when quiet
but I was still connected

I waited
then decided to call them back
what do I get when I do
a message saying they are closed for the day

now changing the frequency of your cordless will not cause a dropped call
which means the rep decided it was closing time
and wanted to ditch the call

lame

Best halloween abuse of your child