(no subject)

[plural]

a dear friend hit the nail on the head

I keep going simply because
I know she would be pissed as hell at me
if I didnt

but I hurt

every day

something fierce

and I'm tired of it

tired of having to find the strength every day
to keep on going on

each day

it takes nearly everything I have

just to smile

just to pretend I am ok

no wonder I am completely full of shit

the first thing I do every morning
is lie to myself
the last thing I do every night
is lie myself to sleep

but fuck

I just cant get past it

I love her

I miss her

and I hate the world simply for existing without her