What you know about the Plural
Oct. 6th, 2004 04:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pluralHaven't taken the poll yet, Take it here
A few notes on the presentation of the results: I have rounded all decimals up for my own convienence and several questions allowed for multiple answers so percetages may exceed one hundred. I have also excluded any answer which was not selected by any respondant. Additionally I have placed the most popular answer to each question (and the questions themselves) in Italics to allow them to stand out more clearly. Lastly, point were awarded in whatever damn way the Plural deemed appropriate, or was most convenient for the King, however he did strive to maintain fairness in the weighting and awarding of point within an individual question. For example, while several questions provided multiple ways for a respondant to recieve an award of points, no single respondant benefitted individually from the caprices of the king in this regard.
That out of the way, let us begin:
Where was the Plural born?
5% percent of you got your Plural confused with Jesus Christ (a fairly common mistake) which is entirely understandable but while not altogether far from the truth, I was not born in a manger outside of Bethlehem
33% of you voted for a posh hospital suite in NYC
40% of you chose a barn loft on a lesbian commune
18% of you selected the parlor of my family's deep south plantation
Additionally 5% of you declared that you are a horny ass dragon
As 40% of you well know, the King was in fact born September 27th 1975 in the loft of a barn on a lesbian commune named "Dragonwagon Farm" in the Missouri Ozarks.
On what Plural Prefers:
45% of you selected the venerable single malt scotch (as if there is any other kind) as your Plural's beverage of choice
43% of you chose the steadfast companion of any southern gentleman, Bourbon as the beverage best fit for your King
3% of you thought that clear and pure vodka was my preferrence
8% of you relied on my adoration for Hunter S. Thompson and the old sailors standby for any required drunkenness to champion Rum as the preferred choice
Additionally 3% of you again declared that you are a horny ass dragon
Like his father and grandfather before him, and the many preceeding generations of Southern Gentlemen which came before them, your Plural prefers the comfort and soothings of a well crafted Bourbon, which should come as no surprise to 43% of you.
What does Plural ride?
An overwhelming 65% of you selected "A Ducati" as Plural's ride of choice
5% Recalled the Plurals childhood passion for horse, and recent interest in rekindling that affection
20% of you are either overwhelmed with wishful thinking or entirely too suspicious as you seem to be convinced that I am riding your woman, I am afraid that I must disappoint all but one of you. And to that one, I can only say, "How do ya like dem apples"
5% of you felt that a bicycle was the most likely choice
In what appears to be an upward trend 5% of you continued to declare that you are a horny ass dragon
While the King is has in the past participated in bicycle races, most likely that at one or more point has also taken a ride or two on your woman, and without question is a skilled equestrian, his current ride of choice is indeed a Ducati.
The Masteries of the Plural:
63% of you acclaimed your kings skill at preparing the finest of meals
35% of you are in awe (and rightfully so) of his skill in giving massages
30% of you recalled Plural's many youthful triumphs at the helm of a sailing vessel
58% of you felt that your King was a wizard of the sexual arts
53% of you applauded the Plural's skill with a camera
33% of you called out for your King to take his rightfull place ruling the Universe
55% of you somewhere got the notion that the Plural knows jack all about fishing
8% of you felt that the Kings skills lay in other areas
And worryingly an increasing 33% of you felt the need to insist that you are a horny ass dragon
While the King humbly thanks his subjects for their confidence in his ability to rule the universe, he does not feel at this time it is in his best interests to do so. While some may debate the meaning of the term, your Plural doesnt know jack shit about fishing, and though he does adore photography, and your compliments are most appreciated, your king must at this point decline to claim anything akin to a mastery of that particular subject. Likewise while I adore and have managed to amass a significant amount of skill in the preparation of delicious dishes, I still have much to learn before mastery can be claimed.
Your kings answers were: Massuer, Sailor, and Lover.
As to which trait your King finds most attractive in his women:
5% of you felt that charm was the key to winning your Plurals heart
30% of you thought a keen intellect would best arouse the passions of the King
8% of you felt grace would most easily allow a woman to slip into the royal robes
23% of you believed that laughter was the best ingrediant to for a Plural passion potion
10% of you insisted that Big Honkin' Titties would snap the Kings resolve
13% of you surmised that a woman with llamas would be irrestible to your Plural
8% of you decided that having teeth was a good start (and you are entirely correct there)
Again 5% of you felt the need to cry out for recognition as a large scaly beast that needs love too
While the King find much to be appreciate in a woman possessing Charm, Grace, & Wit, and as a leg man, big honkin titties are less of of a draw, while llamas are always alluring, and possessing teeth perhaps something the Plural takes for granted in his usual choice of companions, above all others it is indeed Intellect which rouses your kings passions and in the end is most necessary for winning his heart, of course 30% of you already knew that.
The Plural's Possessions:
5% of you apparently missed the recent entry in which Plural posted a photograph of himself in his Tuxedo
48% of you felt that jeans were unlikely to be found among the Kings garmets
5% of you could not imagine your Plural in a pair of Khakis
25% of you suffer in deep denial refusing to admit your heart indeed belongs to the King
Apparently a number of you took a break to relieve some sexual tension between this question and the last because only 18% of you were still exclaiming your horny dragonness
The Plural does not, as 48% of you rightfully pointed out, in fact, own a single pair of Jeans. After the tragic and untimely death of his last pair of jeans in 1990 during the brutal invasion of Kuwait by Saddam Hussein*; the King is still in mourning and not yet ready to resume intimate relations with another pair of jeans.
* While the King feels that Saddam bears the brunt of the culpability in both events, and successfully lobbied President George W. Bush to invade Iraq seeking to correct this grave injustice and finally allow for some closure and healing, the author should note that the CIA has yet to provide any direct evidence linking Saddam Hussein or his government with the assassination of the Plural's jeans. Furthermore, claims made by Senator Strom Thurmond (the now deceased long time Senator from South Carolina) which accuse Saddam Hussein of assassinating the Kings jeans as part of a demoralization campaign to dissuade the American government from intervening in Kuwait seem, at least to this author, to rely entirely too heavily on coincidence.
Places Plural has been employed:
37% of you rightfully recalled the King's gainful employment with the evil empire (Microsoft)
3% of you felt that Plural's genius would have been well spent on behalf of the Big Blue (IBM)
6% of you envisioned the King pioneering voice over IP technology on behalf of Cisco Systems
3% of you figured everyone else has worked for GE so why not Plural
37% of you felt that the King should be shared by all to further the cause of progress.
A few more of you couldn't hold out any longer and retreated (hopefully) to an appropriately private place to relieve some tensions as only 8% of you remained horny ass dragons.
The correct answer which 37% of you managed to sniff out, was all of the above.
Sex and the King:
5% of you believe that Plural has slept with between 5-20 women
5% of you believe that Plural has slept with between 20-50 women
5% of you believe that Plural has slept with between 50-100 women
23% of you believe that Plural has either Balls of Steel or Brains of Jello which allow him to be the only human male known to successfully copulate with a Kimodo dragon, 29 llamas and 162 women.
20% of you wussed out finding the idea entirely too scary to contemplate.
23% of you had faith that Plural is indeed a gentleman as such would never reduce the objects of his affections to mere numbers or conquests and as such has never counted.
8% of you felt that only God was capable of the advanced math skills required to count that high
3% of you had better be extremely careful opening your mail for the next 7-10 business days for daring to insinuate that I would sleep with Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson & the Olson Twins. [for the record I wouldnt sleep with them with your dick and Johnny Pornstud doing the pushing]
5% of you earned bonus points and a special place in my little black book
5% of you lauded the Kings glorious imagination
In a rare moment of tranquility and apparently having satiated your sexual desires only 3% of you still found it necessary to remind me that you are a horny ass dragon.
While the King is entirely flattered that 23% of you feel he has the resolve and abilities to fuck a Kimodo dragon, he finds the faith that another 23% of you have in his good breeding to correctly choose that he would rely on gentlemanly conduct as being far more complimentary.
Royal Dreams:
35% of you saw the allure and felt the sailing around the world to best fit the King's desires
33% of you were unware that said threesome and the accidental discovery by the Secret Service of a videotape made of the event directly led to Plural's rapid flight to and subsequent exile in Canada.
25% of you yearn to leverage the benevolence and dominance of the King to ease to suffering of the Cuban people and return Cuba to the glories of debauchery
Apparently 8% of you have fairly strongly libidos, not to mention are sure to be sorely dissapointed as the King is not a furry, and despite and rumors pertaining to a Kimodo Dragon, has not interesting copulating with Dragons, even if they are adoring fans. On a side note, would a dragon fucker really be a furry? perhaps a scaly would be a better term? Either way, talk about some Chutzpah.
As 35% of you well know, ruling Cuba is my retirement plan, not my dream, and while it was a particularly unfortunate case of Beer googles and drunken judgement, I am hoping my current regemine of electroshock therapy and several years of peace while sailing around the world can help me recover from the post traumatic stress syndrome resulting from the threesome with the Bush twins,
Who me? Inept with what?
13% of you felt that Plural was most likely inept with nail clippers
25% of you decided that the ever wily jump rope was most likely the culprit
33% of you find three hole punches to be intimidating enough to daunt the King
25% of you still require therapy to recover from the trauma and confusion resulting from childhood cafeteria incidents involving sporks
Returning to what seems to established itself as a baseline for this poll 5% of you remain horny ass dragons.
25% of you correctly identified Jump ropes as the wily and wicked tormenter of the King, however for the 33% of you that are mystified by the three hole punch, I think Kinkos offers a class or something, you really should look into it.
Klingon and other funny sounding babble:
88% of you felt confident that Plural had a functional command of English [and the other 12% can blow it out your ass]
15% of you wagered Tagalog was among the King's repatoire
43% of you felt the hopeless romantic within Plural must surely speak Italian
23% of you strangely believed that the King would have need to speak with a bunch hill billy runts in Africa
10% of you figured if a billion Chinamen were smart enough to figure it out, so was your Plural
68% of you relied on the King's heritage and wagered he probably picked up Hebrew somewhere along the way
13% of you supposed that Plural probably needed to learn some Hindu if he was going to find a cheeseburger in that backwards ass country
13% of you mistook the King for some greased up and faggy assed greco-roman wrestling enthusiast who would learn Greek so he'd never have to leave his buddy's behind.
43% of you concluded that Plural would have to have learned some Spanish if only to seduce the many lovelys on his travels in South America
And 28% percent of you clamoured to declare being a horny assed dragon as "The new black"
Plural claims a basic yet, functional command of Italian, Spanish, and Hebrew, in addition to his native fluency in English
Kingly Collectibles:
10% of you actually thought the King collects stamps, sorry but I am pretty sure I do not even own any for postage.
40% of you felt African tribal art would do well to decorate the home of the King.
40% of you surmised that Plural's love of books and old things would come together nicely in collecting antique books.
70% of you remembered the King's friendship with Dionysus and felt that he would never be as remiss as to not have a well stocked cellar on hand
70% of you suspect that Plural has a generously endowed collection of Women on hand to service his, umm, whims
38% of you consider the Llama to be a fine beast worthy of collection by the King
35% of you harken back to more mischievous days when the Plural did indeed have a fine collection of other peoples girlfriends.
53% of you felt the combination of style and class afforded by Vintage cufflinks would draw the King's affections.
15% of you didnt realize after the last question that there never will be a "New Black" and have I mentioned that you Dragons really could learn to use a toothbrush?
The King intentionally collects African Tribal Art, Antique Books, Fine Wine, and Vintage Cufflinks. He claims no responsibilty or complicity with regard to any women, girlfriends or llama who collect themselves around him.
One last bullet to save the world:
8% of you felt I would waste a bullet on President Bush
15% of you decided Michael Moore would be taking the dirt nap
8% of you thought Noam Chomsky should fertilize some daisies
10% of you figured it was finally time to whack Rush Limbaugh
3% of you seem to think I got issues with your neighbors cat
20% of you voiced a lack of confidence in my aim
33% of you have a serious hate on for pauly shore, I seriously think therapy is in order here, I mean sure he is annoying, but last bullet annoying? I think thats a little out of whack
only 5% of you pleaded for me to put your perverted furry/scaly/otherkin ass out of your misery.
While I must admit it would be an incredibly difficult decision, and granted I think if at all possible I would try to line them up so I could get more than one with that single bullet, when push comes to shove, Michael Moore would be getting the short straw on this one.
Simply Continental:
Due to much confusion and controversy which I will admit resulted from a poor composition of the question on my part, I've decided not to list these results in detail.
However, for the purposes of this poll, I was considering Israel a part of Asia, which would leave Africa as the only continent (within that list) which I have not lived on.
I do consider both Antarctica and Australia to be continents, and meant no offense by their exclusion, it was done merely out of convenience in phrasing the question.
Which brings us to the end of the poll closing it out with some statistical data:
There were a total of 40 respondants to the poll of which
18% of you identified as Male
45% of you identified as Female
5% of you are something else entirely, and no, I would rather not know what
5% of you are particularly talented and dexterous Llamas
5% of you are Horny ass dragons.
Out of a Possible 23 points
The "Hello Stalker" club
First place is a tie between![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
_sacchi & luv2ride both garnering a whopping 19 points
Second place is reserved forzaiah with 17 points
Third place goes to my oldest partner in Crimehellomoto13 with 16 "its ok, you can blame the booze" points
Fourth place is a three way tie betweenbudhaboy, girl_on_a_stick, & mselfie with 15 points
The "Royal Enthusiast" club
Fifth place goes to the ever delightfulxelyn23 with 13 points
Sixth place goes to my dear dearhellarad with 12 points
Seventh place is a six way tie withgenesisdiem, ignote, lima_pcp, saucylaur, sonicblue, & sublate each getting 11 points
Eight place is a five way tie withthe_anomalist, damion, folterte, spikenheimer, & thoughtgolem each getting 10 points
The "Loyal subjects with a life" club
Honorable mentions go toacadiabaird, iamjosh, resilience, & trishylicious each with 9 points
Slightly less honorable (but still plenty shiny) mentions go toludimagist, campbellconey, dmlaenker, ludimagist, majorweather, & mourningstarr for accumilating 8 points
The "Friends with ADHD" club
We would be remiss not to mentionbehindtheview, estrie, gryphon, heroin_noir, jenniegoesxo, & oshnnsun who managed 7 points each or thesheryl with 6 points and we should not forget luadoinverno or tydestra each with 5 points.
The "I'd whip your ignant ass with my magnificent royal scepter but I am sleeping with your girlfriend and she begged me to spare you" club
And last but certainly not least, as I wouldnt want to damage his fragile ego lest he whine about it all night, even though I suspect he did his best to earn this particular spot on the scoreboard, we havemoderndayknight who despite his best efforts still managed to rack up 2 points.
Whew
well I hope yall enjoyed the poll and thislittle long ass follow up
time for me to go to bed
all kinds of good loving
~your plural
A few notes on the presentation of the results: I have rounded all decimals up for my own convienence and several questions allowed for multiple answers so percetages may exceed one hundred. I have also excluded any answer which was not selected by any respondant. Additionally I have placed the most popular answer to each question (and the questions themselves) in Italics to allow them to stand out more clearly. Lastly, point were awarded in whatever damn way the Plural deemed appropriate, or was most convenient for the King, however he did strive to maintain fairness in the weighting and awarding of point within an individual question. For example, while several questions provided multiple ways for a respondant to recieve an award of points, no single respondant benefitted individually from the caprices of the king in this regard.
That out of the way, let us begin:
Where was the Plural born?
5% percent of you got your Plural confused with Jesus Christ (a fairly common mistake) which is entirely understandable but while not altogether far from the truth, I was not born in a manger outside of Bethlehem
33% of you voted for a posh hospital suite in NYC
40% of you chose a barn loft on a lesbian commune
18% of you selected the parlor of my family's deep south plantation
Additionally 5% of you declared that you are a horny ass dragon
As 40% of you well know, the King was in fact born September 27th 1975 in the loft of a barn on a lesbian commune named "Dragonwagon Farm" in the Missouri Ozarks.
On what Plural Prefers:
45% of you selected the venerable single malt scotch (as if there is any other kind) as your Plural's beverage of choice
43% of you chose the steadfast companion of any southern gentleman, Bourbon as the beverage best fit for your King
3% of you thought that clear and pure vodka was my preferrence
8% of you relied on my adoration for Hunter S. Thompson and the old sailors standby for any required drunkenness to champion Rum as the preferred choice
Additionally 3% of you again declared that you are a horny ass dragon
Like his father and grandfather before him, and the many preceeding generations of Southern Gentlemen which came before them, your Plural prefers the comfort and soothings of a well crafted Bourbon, which should come as no surprise to 43% of you.
What does Plural ride?
An overwhelming 65% of you selected "A Ducati" as Plural's ride of choice
5% Recalled the Plurals childhood passion for horse, and recent interest in rekindling that affection
20% of you are either overwhelmed with wishful thinking or entirely too suspicious as you seem to be convinced that I am riding your woman, I am afraid that I must disappoint all but one of you. And to that one, I can only say, "How do ya like dem apples"
5% of you felt that a bicycle was the most likely choice
In what appears to be an upward trend 5% of you continued to declare that you are a horny ass dragon
While the King is has in the past participated in bicycle races, most likely that at one or more point has also taken a ride or two on your woman, and without question is a skilled equestrian, his current ride of choice is indeed a Ducati.
The Masteries of the Plural:
63% of you acclaimed your kings skill at preparing the finest of meals
35% of you are in awe (and rightfully so) of his skill in giving massages
30% of you recalled Plural's many youthful triumphs at the helm of a sailing vessel
58% of you felt that your King was a wizard of the sexual arts
53% of you applauded the Plural's skill with a camera
33% of you called out for your King to take his rightfull place ruling the Universe
55% of you somewhere got the notion that the Plural knows jack all about fishing
8% of you felt that the Kings skills lay in other areas
And worryingly an increasing 33% of you felt the need to insist that you are a horny ass dragon
While the King humbly thanks his subjects for their confidence in his ability to rule the universe, he does not feel at this time it is in his best interests to do so. While some may debate the meaning of the term, your Plural doesnt know jack shit about fishing, and though he does adore photography, and your compliments are most appreciated, your king must at this point decline to claim anything akin to a mastery of that particular subject. Likewise while I adore and have managed to amass a significant amount of skill in the preparation of delicious dishes, I still have much to learn before mastery can be claimed.
Your kings answers were: Massuer, Sailor, and Lover.
As to which trait your King finds most attractive in his women:
5% of you felt that charm was the key to winning your Plurals heart
30% of you thought a keen intellect would best arouse the passions of the King
8% of you felt grace would most easily allow a woman to slip into the royal robes
23% of you believed that laughter was the best ingrediant to for a Plural passion potion
10% of you insisted that Big Honkin' Titties would snap the Kings resolve
13% of you surmised that a woman with llamas would be irrestible to your Plural
8% of you decided that having teeth was a good start (and you are entirely correct there)
Again 5% of you felt the need to cry out for recognition as a large scaly beast that needs love too
While the King find much to be appreciate in a woman possessing Charm, Grace, & Wit, and as a leg man, big honkin titties are less of of a draw, while llamas are always alluring, and possessing teeth perhaps something the Plural takes for granted in his usual choice of companions, above all others it is indeed Intellect which rouses your kings passions and in the end is most necessary for winning his heart, of course 30% of you already knew that.
The Plural's Possessions:
5% of you apparently missed the recent entry in which Plural posted a photograph of himself in his Tuxedo
48% of you felt that jeans were unlikely to be found among the Kings garmets
5% of you could not imagine your Plural in a pair of Khakis
25% of you suffer in deep denial refusing to admit your heart indeed belongs to the King
Apparently a number of you took a break to relieve some sexual tension between this question and the last because only 18% of you were still exclaiming your horny dragonness
The Plural does not, as 48% of you rightfully pointed out, in fact, own a single pair of Jeans. After the tragic and untimely death of his last pair of jeans in 1990 during the brutal invasion of Kuwait by Saddam Hussein*; the King is still in mourning and not yet ready to resume intimate relations with another pair of jeans.
* While the King feels that Saddam bears the brunt of the culpability in both events, and successfully lobbied President George W. Bush to invade Iraq seeking to correct this grave injustice and finally allow for some closure and healing, the author should note that the CIA has yet to provide any direct evidence linking Saddam Hussein or his government with the assassination of the Plural's jeans. Furthermore, claims made by Senator Strom Thurmond (the now deceased long time Senator from South Carolina) which accuse Saddam Hussein of assassinating the Kings jeans as part of a demoralization campaign to dissuade the American government from intervening in Kuwait seem, at least to this author, to rely entirely too heavily on coincidence.
Places Plural has been employed:
37% of you rightfully recalled the King's gainful employment with the evil empire (Microsoft)
3% of you felt that Plural's genius would have been well spent on behalf of the Big Blue (IBM)
6% of you envisioned the King pioneering voice over IP technology on behalf of Cisco Systems
3% of you figured everyone else has worked for GE so why not Plural
37% of you felt that the King should be shared by all to further the cause of progress.
A few more of you couldn't hold out any longer and retreated (hopefully) to an appropriately private place to relieve some tensions as only 8% of you remained horny ass dragons.
The correct answer which 37% of you managed to sniff out, was all of the above.
Sex and the King:
5% of you believe that Plural has slept with between 5-20 women
5% of you believe that Plural has slept with between 20-50 women
5% of you believe that Plural has slept with between 50-100 women
23% of you believe that Plural has either Balls of Steel or Brains of Jello which allow him to be the only human male known to successfully copulate with a Kimodo dragon, 29 llamas and 162 women.
20% of you wussed out finding the idea entirely too scary to contemplate.
23% of you had faith that Plural is indeed a gentleman as such would never reduce the objects of his affections to mere numbers or conquests and as such has never counted.
8% of you felt that only God was capable of the advanced math skills required to count that high
3% of you had better be extremely careful opening your mail for the next 7-10 business days for daring to insinuate that I would sleep with Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson & the Olson Twins. [for the record I wouldnt sleep with them with your dick and Johnny Pornstud doing the pushing]
5% of you earned bonus points and a special place in my little black book
5% of you lauded the Kings glorious imagination
In a rare moment of tranquility and apparently having satiated your sexual desires only 3% of you still found it necessary to remind me that you are a horny ass dragon.
While the King is entirely flattered that 23% of you feel he has the resolve and abilities to fuck a Kimodo dragon, he finds the faith that another 23% of you have in his good breeding to correctly choose that he would rely on gentlemanly conduct as being far more complimentary.
Royal Dreams:
35% of you saw the allure and felt the sailing around the world to best fit the King's desires
33% of you were unware that said threesome and the accidental discovery by the Secret Service of a videotape made of the event directly led to Plural's rapid flight to and subsequent exile in Canada.
25% of you yearn to leverage the benevolence and dominance of the King to ease to suffering of the Cuban people and return Cuba to the glories of debauchery
Apparently 8% of you have fairly strongly libidos, not to mention are sure to be sorely dissapointed as the King is not a furry, and despite and rumors pertaining to a Kimodo Dragon, has not interesting copulating with Dragons, even if they are adoring fans. On a side note, would a dragon fucker really be a furry? perhaps a scaly would be a better term? Either way, talk about some Chutzpah.
As 35% of you well know, ruling Cuba is my retirement plan, not my dream, and while it was a particularly unfortunate case of Beer googles and drunken judgement, I am hoping my current regemine of electroshock therapy and several years of peace while sailing around the world can help me recover from the post traumatic stress syndrome resulting from the threesome with the Bush twins,
Who me? Inept with what?
13% of you felt that Plural was most likely inept with nail clippers
25% of you decided that the ever wily jump rope was most likely the culprit
33% of you find three hole punches to be intimidating enough to daunt the King
25% of you still require therapy to recover from the trauma and confusion resulting from childhood cafeteria incidents involving sporks
Returning to what seems to established itself as a baseline for this poll 5% of you remain horny ass dragons.
25% of you correctly identified Jump ropes as the wily and wicked tormenter of the King, however for the 33% of you that are mystified by the three hole punch, I think Kinkos offers a class or something, you really should look into it.
Klingon and other funny sounding babble:
88% of you felt confident that Plural had a functional command of English [and the other 12% can blow it out your ass]
15% of you wagered Tagalog was among the King's repatoire
43% of you felt the hopeless romantic within Plural must surely speak Italian
23% of you strangely believed that the King would have need to speak with a bunch hill billy runts in Africa
10% of you figured if a billion Chinamen were smart enough to figure it out, so was your Plural
68% of you relied on the King's heritage and wagered he probably picked up Hebrew somewhere along the way
13% of you supposed that Plural probably needed to learn some Hindu if he was going to find a cheeseburger in that backwards ass country
13% of you mistook the King for some greased up and faggy assed greco-roman wrestling enthusiast who would learn Greek so he'd never have to leave his buddy's behind.
43% of you concluded that Plural would have to have learned some Spanish if only to seduce the many lovelys on his travels in South America
And 28% percent of you clamoured to declare being a horny assed dragon as "The new black"
Plural claims a basic yet, functional command of Italian, Spanish, and Hebrew, in addition to his native fluency in English
Kingly Collectibles:
10% of you actually thought the King collects stamps, sorry but I am pretty sure I do not even own any for postage.
40% of you felt African tribal art would do well to decorate the home of the King.
40% of you surmised that Plural's love of books and old things would come together nicely in collecting antique books.
70% of you remembered the King's friendship with Dionysus and felt that he would never be as remiss as to not have a well stocked cellar on hand
70% of you suspect that Plural has a generously endowed collection of Women on hand to service his, umm, whims
38% of you consider the Llama to be a fine beast worthy of collection by the King
35% of you harken back to more mischievous days when the Plural did indeed have a fine collection of other peoples girlfriends.
53% of you felt the combination of style and class afforded by Vintage cufflinks would draw the King's affections.
15% of you didnt realize after the last question that there never will be a "New Black" and have I mentioned that you Dragons really could learn to use a toothbrush?
The King intentionally collects African Tribal Art, Antique Books, Fine Wine, and Vintage Cufflinks. He claims no responsibilty or complicity with regard to any women, girlfriends or llama who collect themselves around him.
One last bullet to save the world:
8% of you felt I would waste a bullet on President Bush
15% of you decided Michael Moore would be taking the dirt nap
8% of you thought Noam Chomsky should fertilize some daisies
10% of you figured it was finally time to whack Rush Limbaugh
3% of you seem to think I got issues with your neighbors cat
20% of you voiced a lack of confidence in my aim
33% of you have a serious hate on for pauly shore, I seriously think therapy is in order here, I mean sure he is annoying, but last bullet annoying? I think thats a little out of whack
only 5% of you pleaded for me to put your perverted furry/scaly/otherkin ass out of your misery.
While I must admit it would be an incredibly difficult decision, and granted I think if at all possible I would try to line them up so I could get more than one with that single bullet, when push comes to shove, Michael Moore would be getting the short straw on this one.
Simply Continental:
Due to much confusion and controversy which I will admit resulted from a poor composition of the question on my part, I've decided not to list these results in detail.
However, for the purposes of this poll, I was considering Israel a part of Asia, which would leave Africa as the only continent (within that list) which I have not lived on.
I do consider both Antarctica and Australia to be continents, and meant no offense by their exclusion, it was done merely out of convenience in phrasing the question.
Which brings us to the end of the poll closing it out with some statistical data:
There were a total of 40 respondants to the poll of which
18% of you identified as Male
45% of you identified as Female
5% of you are something else entirely, and no, I would rather not know what
5% of you are particularly talented and dexterous Llamas
5% of you are Horny ass dragons.
Out of a Possible 23 points
The "Hello Stalker" club
First place is a tie between
_sacchi & luv2ride both garnering a whopping 19 pointsSecond place is reserved for
zaiah with 17 pointsThird place goes to my oldest partner in Crime
hellomoto13 with 16 "its ok, you can blame the booze" pointsFourth place is a three way tie between
budhaboy, girl_on_a_stick, & mselfie with 15 pointsThe "Royal Enthusiast" club
Fifth place goes to the ever delightful
xelyn23 with 13 pointsSixth place goes to my dear dear
hellarad with 12 pointsSeventh place is a six way tie with
genesisdiem, ignote, lima_pcp, saucylaur, sonicblue, & sublate each getting 11 pointsEight place is a five way tie with
the_anomalist, damion, folterte, spikenheimer, & thoughtgolem each getting 10 pointsThe "Loyal subjects with a life" club
Honorable mentions go to
acadiabaird, iamjosh, resilience, & trishylicious each with 9 points Slightly less honorable (but still plenty shiny) mentions go to
ludimagist, campbellconey, dmlaenker, ludimagist, majorweather, & mourningstarr for accumilating 8 pointsThe "Friends with ADHD" club
We would be remiss not to mention
behindtheview, estrie, gryphon, heroin_noir, jenniegoesxo, & oshnnsun who managed 7 points each or thesheryl with 6 points and we should not forget luadoinverno or tydestra each with 5 points.The "I'd whip your ignant ass with my magnificent royal scepter but I am sleeping with your girlfriend and she begged me to spare you" club
And last but certainly not least, as I wouldnt want to damage his fragile ego lest he whine about it all night, even though I suspect he did his best to earn this particular spot on the scoreboard, we have
moderndayknight who despite his best efforts still managed to rack up 2 points.Whew
well I hope yall enjoyed the poll and this
time for me to go to bed
all kinds of good loving
~your plural
