Don't Drink and Park - Accidents Cause Children

[plural]

met the girl when she got off work
went for drinks and talked, it was good fun

apparently I am on her mothers shit list
the story as relayed to me, is that her mother woke her up
and saw a couple of the fairly substantial bite marks and bruises on her legs
and being a fairly conservative women, it became quite a scene

So I had to promise to try to refrain from such things
in the immediate future at least while things blow over

amusingly enough this is probably the first time
a girls parents haven't adored me right from the start

we then went for a drive with the intention of just hanging out
not having sex for once
seeing as she needed to be home in a few hours
there was barely time for a quicky

well
that resolve lasted about ten minutes
before
we were pulled over on the side of the road
madly tearing each others clothes off

afterwards I took her home
we smooched and chit chatted a bit
and I invited her over for dinner tonight

am thinking lamb medallions with grilled asparagus
not sure what else, maybe some soup
soups are fabulous in the winter
I whipped up a curry chicken soup the other day
but am thinking a gazpacho might be better suited
and I did see some tasty looking
acorn squash in the store the other day

anyway I arrived home, got out of my car
to two fairly unnerving realizations
which
when simultaneously occurring
must have created quite the visual

the first
was that my driveway was a sheer sheet of ice with a nice downhill tilt
and
as I struggled to keep from sliding down the hill
to a most unfortunate "playing with traffic incident"
the second realization reared its ugly head

After our roadside entanglements I had forgotten to secure my pants

and of course both of my hands
were busily engaged in holding on to my car
to maintain some sort of balance and prevent the downward slide
and
so
my pants drop unfettered

unlike many a summer day
the cool breeze wafting between my legs
was significantly less than pleasant

but my ego is exceedingly glad
that it was past one in the morning
so
to my knowledge
no one actually saw me shuffle around to the front of my car
with my pants around my ankles