The First Dream

[plural]

I have very vivid dreams most often they are nightmares
which I have for the most part trained myself to forget

last night I had two dreams which I remember

This was the first dream


I am in the shower
the water turns to blood
but it doesn't stay that way
just switches long enough
for me to notice and freak out
then changes back
once I am comfortable again
it changes to blood but same as before
as soon as I notice and freak out
it changes back to water

this happens a few times and I am telling myself
I must be imagining it but the shower has lost its appeal
I get out and towel off
but my towels are different
instead of mine
they are those generic white hotel towels
and embossed with a logo I am not familiar with

I dry myself off compelled to check
the towel for bloodstains
wrap a towel around my waist
then the room shifts

scene change

I am looking at myself in a room I do not know
it is a small stark room
there is no furniture
save a low narrow table off to one side
which holds a kettle and a single small earthenware cup
the floor is covered in tatami mats

in the center of the room
I am naked
kneeling
and sitting back on my feet

there is a cloth
neatly folded into a swath
laid over my upper thighs
it is white
folded so it is about ten inches wide
a two inch wide stripe
on the top edge has been dyed black
in that stripe
several kanji have been painted in white
I do not know what they mean
but
I can tell they are a castigation
a damnation
a mark on my soul

on the center of the cloth
lies a long single bladed knife
slightly curved and broken just above the hilt
but placed in line so it looks whole
except for the slight gap where the break is

then
I see where I am looking from
I am standing over my kneeling form
just behind myself
my hands are raised over my head
holding a sword made of bamboo


and then I awoke