on faith, weakness and dark needs

[plural]

I often rail against my fellow man
rant about their shortcomings
those irritants and failures which irk me so

when these collective failures
added to my own begin to overcome me

I turn to the lie

claiming apathy
decrying the depth of my concern
my affection
but such claims are beyond me

when times get hard
and people get me down

I need that lie
still it sounds hollow and empty
however often
however loud I scream it

but do you discard the thin blanket
covering your naked body
in the middle of a snow storm
because it is
inadequate
pathetic
a false image of hope

no
trapped in the middle
you cling to whatever you have

false hope or no
even false hope
is hope

and any hope
is better than none

so we lie

all of us

not out of wickedness
but
weakness
necessity

we tell ourselves lies to make us feel better
to help weather a hard moment

we tell ourselves lies to make ourselves feel worse
to help explain why we don't deserve our dreams

these lies are the important and dangerous ones
for it is these lies which
sacrifice our very souls

a wasted soul
give me fits
for I am a humanist
a fan o' man

and only faith
faith in you
faith in your humanity
ever
gets me through it

faith is a fragile delicate and beautiful thing
faith can only be given
entrusted from one battered soul to another

it cannot be earned
it cannot be promised

it can evaporate in the blink of an eye
and be renewed in a single heart beat

it is not your sin
your failings
which offend, hurt and worry me
but your guilt and shame
the way you twist up your insides
refuse to see the truth
of your own beauty

but guilt is like a bag of bricks
all you have to do is set it down
shame is just someone elses way
of passing their insecurities on to you

but I see past this
why
is it some magical vision
that allows me this gift
that look past your walls
and in your deepest heart

no
not really

you see looking into you
is
for me no more strange
no
more unfamiliar
than
that mirror image of myself

a fear here
a worry there
this one sin over here
oh yes, I remember that lie too

they are all the same
on each of us
your sins are my sins
so how can I pass judgment

I can not cast the first stone

nor do I want to

for I have faith
faith in you
your spirit, your desires and your lusts
your craving ands your needs

but most of all
above all other things
I have faith in your eyes
that they will one day see
and
I have faith in your heart
that it will not cease to feel

in you

my poor wretched masses
who yearn just to breathe

I believe

Comments

[delphaicdragon.livejournal.com]

[HUGS]

[budhaboy.livejournal.com]

damn bubba.

I'm actually going to print that one up and hang it in the john.

Do not take this lightly... Other inductees include:

1) a flyer for an antiwar rally with Louis Farrakhan
2) a portrait of the Revrend Desmond Tutu
3) the lyrics to a song honoring my son's first Potty
4) a greeting card of absurd patriotism sent to me by my niece after 9/11