on jealousy
Jun. 7th, 2003 03:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pluralSo I went and took the jealousy test
Most people who are involved in an important relationship carry a certain amount of fear and feel threatened by the possibility of being displaced and losing a partner to someone else. After all, these things happen, and when they do, it is usually very painful. Very few people display a blatant lack of jealousy. You appear to be one of them.
If you were honest with yourself while taking the test, this means that you are so secure, so strong, independent, and rational that the possibility of losing your partner to someone else is not threatening to you. That does not mean that you do not care; you would certainly be sad or crushed as anybody else. However, you know that if it ever happens, you will survive with your self-esteem intact, with your head up and with dignity. You realize that even though you might love your partner very much, s/he is not the only compatible creature on earth, and that you would eventually find happiness with someone else. Such feelings give you a sense of security and strength to trust, and allow you to be comfortable in the relationship. This, in turn, boosts the chances of a lasting and fulfilling relationship. The only word of caution: Make sure your partner does not perceive your unshakable lack of jealousy as lack of interest or affection.
Jealousy and your emotions/thinking patterns
At the emotional and cognitive level, you seem to be perfectly in control. Your test score shows that in terms of trusting your partner, you are a total optimist. You expect the best and give your partner the benefit of the doubt. You do not get upset about minor things. You can perfectly deal with the fact that your partner interacts with other people, even if you know that your mate might find them physically or spiritually attractive. The basic trust enables you to feel secure and in control. This way, you can avoid feeling anxious, hurt and betrayed because of things that are not worth such emotions. This certainly makes your relationships very pleasant, for you as well as for your partner.
Jealous behavior
WOW! You seem to do the right thing in every potentially jealousy-evoking situation. If you are not jealous, then this is just a logical consequence. If you are jelaous, then you somehow manage to keep your head and control your behavior. You still feel tormented but you have the restraint not to act upon it. On one hand, that is fantastic - jealousy can wreak havoc on the best of relationships. On the other hand, you may be accumulating a lot of pent up frustration; a time bomb just waiting to go off. The solution is not, though, to let it all out in a big explosion. Instead, you should work on the emotions that are at the root of your jealousy and continue to keep the behavior in check.
Irrational jealousy
You appear to be very rational when it comes to jealousy-provoking situations. If you ever get upset, it is probably for a very good reason.
Dependency issues
You do not seem to have any dependence problems. You feel you are an individual separate from your partner, and you do not depend solely on him/her for gratification of all your needs. That is very healthy.
Self-esteem issues
It appears that you do not have any serious self-esteem problems, at least not when your love life is concerned.
Control issues
This test did not detect any indication of controlling behavior on your part.
Take the test here
Most people who are involved in an important relationship carry a certain amount of fear and feel threatened by the possibility of being displaced and losing a partner to someone else. After all, these things happen, and when they do, it is usually very painful. Very few people display a blatant lack of jealousy. You appear to be one of them.
If you were honest with yourself while taking the test, this means that you are so secure, so strong, independent, and rational that the possibility of losing your partner to someone else is not threatening to you. That does not mean that you do not care; you would certainly be sad or crushed as anybody else. However, you know that if it ever happens, you will survive with your self-esteem intact, with your head up and with dignity. You realize that even though you might love your partner very much, s/he is not the only compatible creature on earth, and that you would eventually find happiness with someone else. Such feelings give you a sense of security and strength to trust, and allow you to be comfortable in the relationship. This, in turn, boosts the chances of a lasting and fulfilling relationship. The only word of caution: Make sure your partner does not perceive your unshakable lack of jealousy as lack of interest or affection.
Jealousy and your emotions/thinking patterns
At the emotional and cognitive level, you seem to be perfectly in control. Your test score shows that in terms of trusting your partner, you are a total optimist. You expect the best and give your partner the benefit of the doubt. You do not get upset about minor things. You can perfectly deal with the fact that your partner interacts with other people, even if you know that your mate might find them physically or spiritually attractive. The basic trust enables you to feel secure and in control. This way, you can avoid feeling anxious, hurt and betrayed because of things that are not worth such emotions. This certainly makes your relationships very pleasant, for you as well as for your partner.
Jealous behavior
WOW! You seem to do the right thing in every potentially jealousy-evoking situation. If you are not jealous, then this is just a logical consequence. If you are jelaous, then you somehow manage to keep your head and control your behavior. You still feel tormented but you have the restraint not to act upon it. On one hand, that is fantastic - jealousy can wreak havoc on the best of relationships. On the other hand, you may be accumulating a lot of pent up frustration; a time bomb just waiting to go off. The solution is not, though, to let it all out in a big explosion. Instead, you should work on the emotions that are at the root of your jealousy and continue to keep the behavior in check.
Irrational jealousy
You appear to be very rational when it comes to jealousy-provoking situations. If you ever get upset, it is probably for a very good reason.
Dependency issues
You do not seem to have any dependence problems. You feel you are an individual separate from your partner, and you do not depend solely on him/her for gratification of all your needs. That is very healthy.
Self-esteem issues
It appears that you do not have any serious self-esteem problems, at least not when your love life is concerned.
Control issues
This test did not detect any indication of controlling behavior on your part.
Take the test here
