Iraqi TV Guide
Apr. 9th, 2003 11:45 am06:00 - Morning Prayers.
07:30 - "The Rock 'n Roll Years 629 AD" - A look back at the events of the last year, including the execution of 2,300 dissidents and the opening of a new French oil refinery.
08:00 - FILM: "Saddambusters" - Dramatisation of the glorious 1991 Iraqi victory in Kuwait.
09:30 - "Have I Got Genocide For You" - Celebrities make weapons of mass destruction out of everyday objects.
10:00 - "Holiday" - The team check out nice places for the Hussein family to visit. Featuring: North Korea, Rhodesia and France.
10:30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H" with Tariq Aziz in a big girls blouse and stilettos.
11:30 - "Tomorrow's World" - New torture inventions for scientists who refuse to make nuclear bombs.
12:00 - "Black Peter" - The total amount of smallpox virus bought by the milk bottle top appeal is revealed. Also - three ways to burn a flag, and how to make a President Bush effigy.
12:30 - "Only Fools and Camels" - Dhal-Boy offloads some dodgy French rocket -launchers to a bloke from Hamas.
13:30 - "Koran-ation Street" - Deirdrie faces execution by cat o'nine tails for being a shiite. Peter is beheaded for starting a hareem. Fred switches to selling Halal meat.
14:00 - "Question Time" - Members of the public face awkward questions from the Secret Service includes, 'when does Saddam have breakfast'? (When Tariq Aziz)?
15:00 - "Allah McBeal"
15:30 - "You've Bin Ladened" - Amusing footage shot secretly in Iraq's prisons. The film-makers were also secretly shot.
16:00 - "Middle-East Enders" - The entire cast is beheaded for not saluting when Saddam comes on the telly.
16:30 - "Sadd's Army" - The Basra-on-Sea home guard repel another attack by evil, imperialist, Zionist backed infidels. Fraser has his willy hacked off for stealing some of Corporal Jones's halal sausages.
17:00 - "Wheel of Terror" ordinary Iraqi families pit their wits to win food parcels and medication.
17:30 - "Talibantubbies" - Dipsy and Tinky-Winky make nerve-gas and Po goes La La.
18:00 - FILM: "Saddam's Angels" - The three burkha-clad sleuths go undercover to expose an evil scheme to bring democracy and free speech to Iraq.
19:30 - "Big Brother" - Who will be kicked out of Baghdad and executed this week?
20:30 - "Xena: Modestly Dressed Housewife" - Xena stays at home in a burkha and does some housework.
21:30 - "Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer".
22:30 - "The Sky At Night" - What to see in the Iraqi night sky during March: including B52 Bombers, Stealth Fighters and Cruise Missiles.
07:30 - "The Rock 'n Roll Years 629 AD" - A look back at the events of the last year, including the execution of 2,300 dissidents and the opening of a new French oil refinery.
08:00 - FILM: "Saddambusters" - Dramatisation of the glorious 1991 Iraqi victory in Kuwait.
09:30 - "Have I Got Genocide For You" - Celebrities make weapons of mass destruction out of everyday objects.
10:00 - "Holiday" - The team check out nice places for the Hussein family to visit. Featuring: North Korea, Rhodesia and France.
10:30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H" with Tariq Aziz in a big girls blouse and stilettos.
11:30 - "Tomorrow's World" - New torture inventions for scientists who refuse to make nuclear bombs.
12:00 - "Black Peter" - The total amount of smallpox virus bought by the milk bottle top appeal is revealed. Also - three ways to burn a flag, and how to make a President Bush effigy.
12:30 - "Only Fools and Camels" - Dhal-Boy offloads some dodgy French rocket -launchers to a bloke from Hamas.
13:30 - "Koran-ation Street" - Deirdrie faces execution by cat o'nine tails for being a shiite. Peter is beheaded for starting a hareem. Fred switches to selling Halal meat.
14:00 - "Question Time" - Members of the public face awkward questions from the Secret Service includes, 'when does Saddam have breakfast'? (When Tariq Aziz)?
15:00 - "Allah McBeal"
15:30 - "You've Bin Ladened" - Amusing footage shot secretly in Iraq's prisons. The film-makers were also secretly shot.
16:00 - "Middle-East Enders" - The entire cast is beheaded for not saluting when Saddam comes on the telly.
16:30 - "Sadd's Army" - The Basra-on-Sea home guard repel another attack by evil, imperialist, Zionist backed infidels. Fraser has his willy hacked off for stealing some of Corporal Jones's halal sausages.
17:00 - "Wheel of Terror" ordinary Iraqi families pit their wits to win food parcels and medication.
17:30 - "Talibantubbies" - Dipsy and Tinky-Winky make nerve-gas and Po goes La La.
18:00 - FILM: "Saddam's Angels" - The three burkha-clad sleuths go undercover to expose an evil scheme to bring democracy and free speech to Iraq.
19:30 - "Big Brother" - Who will be kicked out of Baghdad and executed this week?
20:30 - "Xena: Modestly Dressed Housewife" - Xena stays at home in a burkha and does some housework.
21:30 - "Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer".
22:30 - "The Sky At Night" - What to see in the Iraqi night sky during March: including B52 Bombers, Stealth Fighters and Cruise Missiles.