in honor of Janus, in service to Bacchus

[plural]

well I promised more details
so here they are
and to put an end to rampant speculation
I did in fact honor my wager
[I take such things seriously]



The flight to the city was pretty easy
my town car was waiting at the curb
with glasses and ice for my bourbon
a relaxing hour cab ride to the hotel
followed by a hot shower and good sleep

I woke up in the morning
had breakfast with the family
father, brother in law, and two of my nieces and nephews
went to give my regards to the groom and family
schmoozed for a bit, help dress the groom
[he was having some difficulty with his studs]

I went for a walk with my brother in law
and the nieces and nephews
played in the snow in my armani boots
[bad me]
then I went for a drive with my sister
while she completed some errands
we had a great talk about all sorts of things
it was really wonderful

came back to the hotel and took my youngest niece
[she is nine months old]
around socializing so that her parents could shower
and get ready for the wedding
saw all sorts of people who I hadn't seen in years
[ten to twelve years to be exact]
several of them thought Emily [my niece]
was my daughter and inquired when I got married
which humored me somewhat

after an hour or so
it was time for me to get dressed
so I returned my niece to her parents
and went to my room
laid out my clothes
pressed my shirt
[just a touch up from being folded in my garment bag]
polished my shoes to a mirror shine
showered and shaved then assembled myself

I stopped by my sisters room
to pick up my nephew noah
who being completely dressed
was not interested in waiting for the others
and the two of us
dashingly handsome gentlemen
headed down to the festivities.

the evening was grand
I saw many old friends and even some old enemies
[although all animosity was buried years ago]
drank and celebrated with gusto
played my role as ambassador of the family
schmoozing and pressing the flesh

I met a young woman for a second time
[the first was when I was thirteen]
and we hit it off
a little dancing, a lot of conversation
and I invited her up to my hotel room after the wedding
as I was having something of a little gathering there

our small group talked and laughed to the wee hours of the morning
and when we broke up, I walked her back to her room
a hug and three peach flavoured kisses later
she insisted I stay over in the city
for new years
I agreed at least to call my travel agent
and see what could be done

all was swell
my dear friend Simon and I
[he was crashing with me at my invitation]
hung out for little while before turning in

the next morning
my travel agent
[a goddess of such matters]
had my flight changed
a hotel room booked across the hall from hers
[the young lady's not the travel agent's]

had breakfast and as the night before
spent most of my time circulating the room
after all there was a hundred and ten people
who had not seen me since I was fourteen or fifteen
and had to know everything they had missed
while I suppose I could have tried to spare myself
the repetitious third degree questionings
but as an ambassador of the family
it would have been unthinkable

the needed flesh pressing pressed
I went upstairs to help my sister pack up her family
and get them off to the airport
checked in with father to make sure he was all set
and hopped into my waiting town car to head into the city

I checked into my hotel, glowered at the size of my room
but quickly dismissed the thought,
my travel agent had warned me that it would not be
up to my usual standards but oh well such is life
after all I was lucky to get a room close by at such short notice

I had been asked to attend the first evenings "Sheva Brachot"
[hebrew for seven blessings]
in the Jewish tradition after a couple is married
friends and families host a dinner each night for seven days
and at these dinners seven blessings are made for the Bride and Groom
individuals are honored by the couple by being requested to lead in the one of the blessings
as my families representative I was asked to lead in the first blessing
the evening carried on pleasantly enough
I schmoozed the family of the bride and was rather enjoying myself
I was quite amused however when one of the Rabbis
asked if I was interested in a "shidduch"
technically a shidduch is a betrothal
but in modern usage it refers to a date
[sort of an sanctioned, supervised form of blind dating]
which hopefully will lead to a betrothal
[it was how my friend met his wife incidentally]
I demurred gently
explaining that I was currently focused on my education

I had a message at my hotel
from the young lady across the hall
[lets call her N shall we]
inviting me to meet her downstairs at nine pm for a drink

I showered quickly
mostly just rinsing off my flesh
as I had already showered that morning
dressed and headed down
I met her in the lobby and we proceeded to the bar
to met her two nephews and some of their friends
who had driven out from MN for a phish concert

delightful young fellows they were
and we enjoyed ourselves for an hour
then we had to go off to meet the bride and groom
for a nightcap [for them not us]
and they went to buy some booze for the after party
with plans to meet up with us later

we had drinks at the living room bar
[W hotel @ times square]
schmoozed for a while
it was nice as I finally got a chance to speak to the bride somewhat
she still seemed a little shy though
Simon met us there and shortly afterwards
the happy couple went upstairs
[to sleep I am absolutely sure *wink*]
we went outside to find something to eat
and as we had missed the 11:30pm reservations
I had sold my soul to get at Teatro Duepo
[a simply divine and surprisingly low profile italian place]
reservations there are hard enough to get
but the kitchen closes promptly at eleven
so eleven thirties were something slightly short of a miracle
but oh well
I have a few more souls lying around
I suppose I wont miss one more
*wicked grin*

we found a little hole in the wall deli
which had the most amazing pickles
[their corned beef was pretty spiffy too]
grabbed a quick bite to eat
and headed off to whiskey blue
[at the W on Lex]
to meet some friends

the others had arrived ahead of us
and we joined them
I ordered another bottle of champagne
and proposed a toast
we sat down and schmoozed
catching up on old times and new
one of my friends had a serious girlfriend
for the first time ever in my recollection
[he generally had two or three casual women]
and she was absolutely a gem
beautiful intelligent and successful
I was quite happy for him and only the slightest bit jealous
*grin*
what can I say but I am selfish and want all the amazing women for myself
*wink*

N's nephews arrived and were refused entry due to improper dress
one of my friends was good friend with the manager
so they went to get them in
unfortunately the youngins had been unable
to keep their mouths shut
and by the time we got there
had managed to piss off the bouncer

I don't care how good of friends you are with the manager
asking him to bitchwhip a bouncer over some kids who couldn't keep their mouths shut
is just bad business
so we went back to settle our tab
my friend Simon went outside to schmooze with them
and keep em company
and who should he run into but another old friend
who was with a gaggle of girls
we invited them to join us and they did

we all headed out to traffic
were we would party most of the night
our group expanded rapidly as friends met friends
and people joined us
we left traffic at four thirty
with six cabs full of people
headed back to one of the hotels
where N's nephews had two adjoining rooms
for our after hours fun

I should step back a bit
after when we arrived at traffic
I decided to put some distance between N and I
while she had been quite fawning with me
I had begun to notice a pattern of behavior which I didn't like

There are two things I watch for
above the myriad of others
which will scare me off a girl with a quickness
in this case it was her attitude towards wait staff and bartenders
but I would learn soon that she didn't treat her friends much better

so upon arriving at Traffic
I played the host to our menagerie
schmoozing and dancing
toasting and laughing the night away
she quite clearly noticed the change in my attentions
and wasn't exactly pleased about it
but at that point I had seen enough
to know I was better off just focusing on having a good time
and being social

at a little while past 8am
the party is starting to wrap up
and I can see the occupants of the room are ready
to call it a night

N, who has been clinging to her friend
[she was travelling with someone]
puts her arm around my waist
and suggest we go back to the hotel
I nod and remark that it looks like it is time to wrap this party up
I start quietly speaking to people
moving them out of the rooms and towards home
N apparently decided not to wait and headed back to the hotel
which pissed me off
not because she left me behind
as by that point I was less than intrigued by her schtick
but that she would just get and leave her nephews
with twenty some drunk people occupying their rooms
it takes me about half an hour
to get everyone out of the rooms
downstairs and into cabs home

Simon who is crashing with me helps me clear em out
and we do a final shot of vodka with the nephews and their buddies
before saying our good byes

out front two stragglers remain
a pair of reasonably attractive british girls
[well I suppose by british standards]
[they were unusually attractive]
[*wicked grin*]
we go out to breakfast with them
stop back by the W to pick up Simons bag
which I had checked with the concierge
and headed back my hotel room

The four of us talked for a while
and it became rapidly apparent that Simon had something going
with one of the girls
the other girl and I talked for a while
and ended up just going to sleep in the bed
while the other two had sex on the floor
Simon has the advantage of being far more a dog
than I have ever been capable of

the strange thing about the two of us
is that we both have incredibly strong libidos
his is fed by variety
while mine is fed by intensity
we have been wingmen for years
and I often find myself wondering at the distinction
in our ways
not that I am anyone to throw stones
on any subject approaching morality
but his patterns just do not appeal to my needs
I suppose

That afternoon the ladies left
Simon caught his plan home
and I took an incredibly long and wonderful bath
and laid myself out across the bed
wrapped up in the latest Dean Koontz novel
I had several hours until I was due
at that evening Sheva Brachot
and I planned on enjoying some peace and relaxation

if I were not Jewish
and operating on Jewish standard time
I would be a horrible mess
Jewish standard time for those of you who are not familiar
is the method by which all Jews calculate when an event is going to start
the general method is to take the scheduled time of the event
add one to three minutes for each person in attendance
and that will give you the approximate time to show up
people who plan events attempt to adjust for this
which is why you will have large dinner parties
scheduled for nine in the morning
*mischievous grin*
but for the most part Jewish standard time
works best if not molested
anyway as can be imagined
while reveling in relaxation and comfort
I fell asleep
the dinner was scheduled for six thirty
and I awoke at seven

with a quickness
I washed up, dressed and hailed a cab
and thanks to the miracle of Jewish standard time
arrived just as people were sitting down to order their food
N called me over to where she was sitting with her friend
and I sat in the seat she had saved for me
I wasn't particularly hungry
and Jewish restaurants are known for the largess of their portions
so while I was tempted by the ribs, I knew it would be too much of an undertaking
instead I ordered a tasty corned beef sandwich and some pickles
[I adore real new york pickles]
[if you haven't guessed]

within five minutes of sitting down
I could tell N was in a mood
pulling her prima donna schtick
personally, I don't care how hot you are
I have not time for whiny behaviours
even if they are not focused at me
which they were not in this case
she was complaining to her friend
that she never got to do anything she wanted to do
yadda yadda yadda
aw shut the fuck up willya

first off, you are here for a wedding
so doing the wedding related events
is of primary importance
secondly I had spent the greater part of the evening before
playing tour guide to her whims
so what she was saying was utter crap
it wasn't however directed at me
so while it served to make me decidedly less attracted to her
[which was a shame cause she was wearing an incredibly sexy blouse]
I didn't get involved
the two of them had been friend for over ten years
I would let them handle their own shit
what it did make me realize though
was that I was less and less interested in spending new years with them

we left dinner and she asked for a cigarette
which I happily provided
there was a strong breeze blowing down W 72nd street
and my first few attempts to light her cigarette were hampered
so I surrendered the lighter to her
as in such conditions it is often easier to light ones own cigarette
she made a little comment
"I thought you never let women light a cigarette in your presence"
which is mostly true, at least where my friends and lovers were concerned
I resisted the temptation to explain that not only was she neither a friend or a lover
but increasingly I was wondering if she was even mature enough to be considered a woman
regardless it was enough
I inquired what the plan was for the evening and this time
was glad that she kept up her prima donna act
because it allowed me to gracefully bow out
saying I was going to visit some friends nearby
and that they should call me when she decided what she wanted to do
I was not about to spend an hour trying to find the perfect idea for her
which was obviously what she wanted

I walked a few blocks to my friends house
hoping to catch him and his wife before they left for their party
[they had a high powered business party to go to]
[while I had been invited I had enough of pretension]
[and just wanted to go out on the town and have a blast]
they were finishing up getting dressed
having just past eight on their way to the nines
and I had a drink with them and schmoozed for about an hour

I left them just after nine thirty
and no sooner than I had left
than my phone started ringing
the night before I had given out my number to my favourites
of the people we met and told them to call me around
nine thirty or ten to make plans

I gathered everyone at a bar called Snafu
one of my favourite little places in the city
they showed up in groups of three and four
and by ten thirty we had almost thirty people there
I was flirting with the bartender a cute blonde thing
who was serving my bourbons and coke quite heavy
[roughly nine ounces of bourbon and three of coke, no ice]
which was perfect for the blinding drunk I was aiming for
[but as usual my bodies tolerance of liquor foiled my plans]
in short order I had met nearly everyone in the bar
and introduced them to the majority of my crew
[most of whom I had only met this evening]
I met a delightful young woman from the city
she was a poorly practicing orthodox Jew like myself
[there are not too many of us out there]
[as most who are raised orthodox either remain so, or switch to reform Judaism]
and we hit it off
the new year was rang in
I traversed the bar collecting new years hugs and kisses
[several quite tasty ones I might add]
the best of course was from the recently mentioned lady
she invited me to join her and her friends
in going to a private party at Liquid
and assured me she could get me in
so I said my goodbyes to the crew and everyone else
and left with them

The party at Liquid was pretty spectacular
in the VIP room they had brought out the good stuff
which you rarely see at a hosted bar
I rather enjoyed myself
and set to teaching my newly acquired date
how to swing dance

great fun was had by all
and around three am we wandered over to Shine
while not blinding drunk as I had hope
I was definitely a sheet or two into the wind
my date and I danced and talked until five am or so
when all of her friend but one decided to leave
I decided this was my cue as well
and left her with an ever so delicate goodnight kiss
to hang out and party with her friends
numbers were exchanged
and I caught a cab home feeling quite exhilarated

all in all
it was something dreadfully needed by my soul
to be in a real city again
and to party and socialize on my usual level
oh and the women weren't half bad either
*grin*

and now after almost two days of recovery
mostly spent sleeping and reading
I feel entirely human again

it is good to be the king