May I just say

that I absolutely
positively
love being me

honestly

you have no idea

imagine the best wet dream
you've ever had

and that

is one-tenth
of how great it is to be me

I spent an hour tonight

making out with a hot blonde
I want to make babies with
and a hot japanese chick
who I'll be content to fuck for several days on end

the blonde
and I
spoke for over an hour
about wine

in Italian

yeah

it was that hot

of course
the funny thing is
while I was making moves
with both chicks independent of the other
all night

I forgot to mention
I was at a toga party
on a boat chartered by a friend of mine

I was making headway
with each
but pretty much
had resigned myself to getting numbers
and
seeing what I could do
in the next round

when
as the boat was docking
and I was arranging the after party
I ended up
with one on each arm

and

may I just say

god bless competition

it is a beautiful thing

I am entirely sure
that if it had not been for the other
neither would have stuck her tongue in my mouth

not that I am complaining
no
not in the least

but yeah

he who dies having the most fun

wins...