A definition of affection... or ... hindsight is 20 20

this evening I went
to a charity event

a political cabaret

my dear sister
was one of the organizers
and the cause was to support
bringing theatre professionals
to public schools

it was great fun
and five hundred bucks a ticket
for a good cause
was easily made up
by the pitchers of cosmos they plied me with

it marks the second time
I've seen a US congressman
and a transsexual stripper
on the same stage

the primary difference
is that this time
I wasn't sworn to secrecy

I had the pleasure of being dragged on stage
to introduce Tom Skerrit and the govenor of the state
[who despite the rumors, I did not sleep with her]
[although I did vote for her, three or four times]

afterwards
the dutiful brother that I am
I stayed to help my sister and her crew
clean up

well
that isn't exactly true

cleaning up entailed
stacking about a hundred chairs

swing dancing
with half a dozen lovelies

and drinking another pitcher
of cosmos

there is a young lady
I've been most intrigued with of late
a young lass I've no right to be so enamored of

but I foolishly thought
I could distract myself

so tonight
I drank

heavily

then I danced
with a brunette and a blonde
both quite exquisite

and together
quite determined to find out
if I was indeed
hung like a light switch in a doll house
of if I was just bragging

it is amazing
how bragging about how inept you are in bed
only seems to encourage women
to find out if you were lying

I made the false excuse
as one of the two was my sisters assistant
and took my leave

I thought I was free and clear
and then the redhead approached

we danced
and she smelled amazing
but however aroused I got
I could only think
how close of a substitute she was
for someone else

so I used the excuse
of my mother's cancer
and her living with me
to beg off politely

of course
I didn't realize my motivation
until that moment

with her breast pressed against me
the smell of her in my nostrils
her lips hovering before mine

why I was declining
and even now
I cannot believe that I did

what the hell was I thinking
turning down such a luscious lass
such a precious ass

but
however much I lusted
my mind was elsewhere
someplace I had no right to be
thinking thoughts most inappropriate

oh
what a fool am I

the blonde and the brunette
were cute
good for at least four or five hours
of utterly perverted sex

but the redhead

mmm

well

I could have eaten that peach for hours

but somehow
despite the obvious erection in my pants
my mind was elsewhere
my lust was elsewhere

someplace it shouldn't be
but there it was
nonetheless

and now
drinking from the pitcher of cosmos
that was sent home with me

sitting here alone
thinking over the three lovely lasses
that I walked away from

I do not understand it
but I do not regret it either

think what you will
I'm going to get drunk.