(no subject)

I want to thank everyone
for their thoughts and concern
and
beg forgiveness as I'm not
much in the mood to respond

today was fairly surreal
and it still isn't very real to me
but I found encouragement
in the words and comfort
displayed by all of you

I suppose it is something
that will take a while to sink in
it is strange how
you take so many things in life
for granted
like tomorrows

you always think there is an endless supply of them
always another day
another chance
to express how you feel
to be there for those you love
but
tomorrows are finite

I guess right now
it is just a waiting game
let the doctors run their tests
discuss the results
and plan what to do next

right now
I just want to curl into a ball
but I won't

I'll do what I always do
throw myself into my work
keep myself distracted
anything
to avoid the waiting
the not knowing

deal with it all
when the tests come back
when we know something
when we have some answers

this too will pass