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from my local paper
Jan. 26th, 2004
from my local paper
For the record, you proposed to me
Jan. 26th, 2004 10:47 pm[this is a post for one of you, a response to a post you made, if it is for you, you will know]
Darling, I think I know much of how you feel, and often feel the same way. It is a fact of life, that everyone wants something from you, me or anyone else they think they can get it from. Most people are too afraid to live, so they live vicariously through other images of people. Movies, Television, Livejournal, and even occasionally real life, all provide these images, the holograms of reality and that is all you are to those people, an image, a photograph, an that they mold in their mind to suit their needs. People will always seek to take from you whatever they perceive you can give them, because for the most part as a species we are lonely and hurting, any break from that pain, regardless of whether it is real or imagined seems most welcome. Think of the celebrity, everywhere they go someone wants to say hello, to take a piece of them for themselves, a shiny little pearl of an experience to make their lives seem better. How often do we hear people talk about meeting this or that celebrity, as if it meant something, was something special.
The trick to surviving is reserving your energies for yourself and those close to you first, and only sharing what is left over. Sometimes that will be a lot, sometimes it will be nothing, but you have to set the line, where you will share and where you wont, and sometimes enforcing that line can seem unkind, but none of us have unlimited emotional resources.
We cant care about everyone and each of their problems, it is simply overwhelming. You have to set limits, decide who you allow into your space and who you share your emotional resources with.
I was thinking today about someone who I may care about, to be honest I am not sure yet, but they are in some sort of a relationship with a person I cannot stand, not because he is a bad person, but because he is so careless with her feelings.
It is a casual cruelty born out of laziness and convenience, and such carelessness I do despise.
Life and circumstances may from time to time require me to be cruel, and when I must be, I do so unhappily, but I will never be casual with anothers heart or emotions.
To live deliberately, does not mean that life becomes any easier, only that our actions are supported by our convictions, by a thought out decision, even if we must be cruel or unkind it is not out of malice but necessity.
Think about a time when someone had feelings for you, romantic feelings, that you did not share, however cruel and unkind it may be to burst their bubble, it is a necessity.
Perhaps it isn't the best analogy for what you are experiencing, but what it comes down to is, you need to decide, with each person, what you are willing to invest, emotionally, into that relationship whatever form it takes, and draw the line there.
or maybe I do not have a clue what I am talking about
so I will shut up now, and spare you my inane ramblings.
Darling, I think I know much of how you feel, and often feel the same way. It is a fact of life, that everyone wants something from you, me or anyone else they think they can get it from. Most people are too afraid to live, so they live vicariously through other images of people. Movies, Television, Livejournal, and even occasionally real life, all provide these images, the holograms of reality and that is all you are to those people, an image, a photograph, an that they mold in their mind to suit their needs. People will always seek to take from you whatever they perceive you can give them, because for the most part as a species we are lonely and hurting, any break from that pain, regardless of whether it is real or imagined seems most welcome. Think of the celebrity, everywhere they go someone wants to say hello, to take a piece of them for themselves, a shiny little pearl of an experience to make their lives seem better. How often do we hear people talk about meeting this or that celebrity, as if it meant something, was something special.
The trick to surviving is reserving your energies for yourself and those close to you first, and only sharing what is left over. Sometimes that will be a lot, sometimes it will be nothing, but you have to set the line, where you will share and where you wont, and sometimes enforcing that line can seem unkind, but none of us have unlimited emotional resources.
We cant care about everyone and each of their problems, it is simply overwhelming. You have to set limits, decide who you allow into your space and who you share your emotional resources with.
I was thinking today about someone who I may care about, to be honest I am not sure yet, but they are in some sort of a relationship with a person I cannot stand, not because he is a bad person, but because he is so careless with her feelings.
It is a casual cruelty born out of laziness and convenience, and such carelessness I do despise.
Life and circumstances may from time to time require me to be cruel, and when I must be, I do so unhappily, but I will never be casual with anothers heart or emotions.
To live deliberately, does not mean that life becomes any easier, only that our actions are supported by our convictions, by a thought out decision, even if we must be cruel or unkind it is not out of malice but necessity.
Think about a time when someone had feelings for you, romantic feelings, that you did not share, however cruel and unkind it may be to burst their bubble, it is a necessity.
Perhaps it isn't the best analogy for what you are experiencing, but what it comes down to is, you need to decide, with each person, what you are willing to invest, emotionally, into that relationship whatever form it takes, and draw the line there.
or maybe I do not have a clue what I am talking about
so I will shut up now, and spare you my inane ramblings.