The Jewish Christmas

Since I am sure yall are curious what we Jews do
while you are all warm inside with your families on Christmas

well first we go out for Chinese food not only because Jews love Chinese food
but also because they are the only fucking place open on Christmas

then we go see a movie, again the fact that we like movies is irrelevant
on Christmas we don't have much choice because
you guessed it
it is the only place open

then we go home
maybe with some other heathen friends
and get drunk

this is necessary as it provides both the inspiration
and the require warmth for the next stage

which is of course the annual Christmas walk

take a nice Cuban cigar
a good bottle of firewater
and walk around the neighborhood
looking at all yalls lights and displays

this quickly descends
into screwing your reindeer and pissing on your Santas
in a mostly silent but entirely gleeful moment of vengeance
for the months and months of Christmas music
we have had to endure

but lucky for us
yall are too busy frolicking inside
to notice