O' brother where art thou

my brother called me yesterday
some of you understand the significance of this
but for the others
my brother and I have had a gulf between us for years
it isn't a void created out of anger
but unease and discomfort

I honestly can not recall
the last time my brother telephoned me

for the most part
there has just been a lack of communication
between us

well he wanted to change that
as a start just to begin talking again
keeping each other informed of our lives

It was a good and needed talk

now

neither of us expects
to become great friends
more that the condition of discomfort
which ruled our interactions
has been deemed unacceptable

at the very least
we should be able to interact
without undue pain and suffering

I was touched by the call
and more so by the conversation we had

it left me feeling rather fragile
like when you bump a wound
you had forgotten you had
and it starts throbbing anew

but in a better way

it was like a huge denial
was lifted off my shoulders

by our mutual acknowledgement
that our relationship was fucked
and a desire on both parts
to begin improving it
in whatever ways are to come

I could stop pretending that it didn't hurt
that it was okay
how things were

and I am still processing
how I feel
but
it hurts a little
feels good a little

just stirred up a lot of emotional shit
but for that

I am glad

(no subject)

Yesterday

In the process of a most mundane
act

that of going to an atm

I had the most bizarre experience

I was approached by
a flamboyantly homosexual deaf man

who attempted to

simultaneously

panhandle (successfully)
and
hit on me (unsuccessfully)

he then decided
it was of critical importance
to tell me his life story

standing there
in the freezing rain

his speech was difficult to understand
but augmented with the little sign language I know
I had not a clue really
what he was talking about
but got the occasional word or gesture

I begged off as politely
as I knew how
got back in my car
and proceeded to drive home

as I drive away
he risks life and limb
to block rush hour traffic
[if there is such a thing here]
and stand
in the middle of the road

waving and blowing kisses
at my fleeing vehicle