Sex Survey Review

We had a total of 45 Respondents
[and if you haven't taken it]
[take it here]


28.9% were male
60% were female
and 11% just wanted more

86% of you are north American

with individual representatives from Europe & Asia
and three of you from Oceania

then of course
we have one person
who shall remain nameless
[Brooke]
who was under the mistaken impression
she was from South America

On Virginity

yall were equally split between "not" and "nothing resembling"
with a few madonna fans rolled in for good measure

76% of you are attracted to women which nudges out men by 10%
and considering how few men answered this poll


Amazingly enough only two of you were brave enough to admit your overriding sexual infatutions with Llamas.


Of the vanilla

yall seemed to be fairly well versed with Reverse Cowgirl being the least common, so I encourage yall to put that on your todo list for tonight and the fabled 69 got slammed as well as being the second least common.

Cowgirl or Woman on Top was overwhelmingly selected as the favored position, with doggie style coming in a distant second, and several of you were honest enough to admit you would rather just sit back and recieve oral pleasure

on to the spice

63% of you Like being tied up and beaten, or tying up and beating

58% of you like to watch the 65% of you who like to be watched
[looks like we might have to take turns there]

51% of you love the money shots, in one form or another

40% of you enjoy getting fucked in the ass so the 23% of you who like fucking people in the ass have your work cut out for you

We might need to start a porn company consider that 65% of you like being photographed or videotaped during sex

and a whopping 74% include sex toys in their lovemaking, which makes it the most popular "spice"

34% of you enjoy three-somes and 5% ten or more somes

The rimmers among you are going to have to put in overtime as only 14% like rimming but 30% like getting rimmed

16% of you enjoy watersports of the variety without jetskis and surfboards
While 60% of you listed that among those things you would never do

and while a whopping 63% of you are putting everyone elses life and limb at risk by having sex while operating a moving vehicle, it does encourage me to pay closer attention to my fellow commuters while in traffic [and I appreciate single safety minded individual on my friends list who refuses to get it on while driving]

Of the "not gonna happen variety"

64% of you were highly averse to licking some ass but only 36% of you were averse to having your licked, so pretty much it is way too disgusting for you to do to the one you love but not for the one you love to do to you.

only 18% of you were averse to the idea of threesomes, but full out orgies were over the line for 58% of you

Among the lessor sins [ranked by rate of refusal]

42% of you wont take it up the ass, and considering that 40% of you do, that leaves 20% of you who dont like it but take it up the ass anyway, way to take one for the team!

22% of you dont do money shots, with the larger aversion being for Facials

only 15% run away from the BDSM scene
and it makes me proud to know that only one of you wouldnt have sex in public
while three of you have no interest in watching someone else get laid

Relationships

The lions share of you 47% are in commited monogamous relationships
7% are in polyamourous relationships
Four of you are married
34% of you are single but except for one particularly honest person, seem to be ok or enjoying it

Fidelity

38% of you have been entirely faithful to your partners even though 54% of you have been cheated on, which speaks well of yall, I think

29% either arent sure if you have cheated or not sure if it counts as cheating

33% of you have succumbed to tempation or slipped on a banana peel and fucked someone other than your partner at least once, with 15% of you making a habit of it

Ignorance seems to be bliss with 33% of you who had partners who were either faithful or smart enough not to get caught, while only 13% of you are entirely certain you have never been cheated on.

11% of you have sort of been cheated on, 27% have been cheated on once and 14% more than once. Only one of you have been cheated on by every partner and if I might give them a little advice, Stop dating musicians! *Grin*

Experimenting

only one of you is set in their ways, and 13% require a little incentive to try something new, 9% are unsure but are willing to consider it.

7% will probably take one for the team even if they arent to thrilled

69% of you are willing to get your freak on
with 40% wanting to be led
14% dragging their partners along behind them
and 18% of you are fashion whores who just want new clothes

Creativity and Sexual Fantasies

40% of you have sexual fantasies somewhat in line with your peer group
but 29% of you think your friends would call ya a freak
18% of you would get fired or arrested for your fantasies
and
9% of us believe your fantasies would be the subject of a UN General Assembly, which must involve either some crazy ass shit, so baby, whats your sign?

on a side note, when I thought of that response, a particular person came to mind, and to my great amusement, they did not fail to select said response

Sanity Check

64% of you were somewhat amazed that you were so forthcoming

20% of you have not only had sex with llamas but have videotaped it, so either you were lying about being attracted to Llamas or you were really hard up for cash

29% of you would have sex with me,
9% of you have had sex with me
11% of you cant remember having sex with me
[and fortunately, I cant recall fucking any of you either, so we are probably in the clear]
and only one of you feels guilty about having sex with me but since you are a lesbian, I suppose I can understand that

18% of you think I would fuck you and 28% think I would fuck you twice

and lastly a matter fairly personal to me

I am greatly relieved to know that none of you have, or atleast retain the discretion to avoid admitting to slipping me a roofie, but I am somewhat disturbed that 13% of you would do so.

Mind you, not anywhere near as disturbed as I am by the fact that 52% of you would sell me to hermaphorditic porns stars for bus fare home when I am drunk, I have written your names down and will remember that next time we go partying


With Friends Like These ...

(no subject)

The other day
I was talking to a chickie

about her love troubles
specifically the uselessness of musicians
and how they seem to be attracted to her
like bugs to a zapper

only without the neat
lighting bolt
fall down dead
effect

and
in talking
and swapping tales
it came up
that I seem to attract psycho women

now
I stand by my argument that
all women are psychos

and until I meet a sane woman
I will continue to do so

but
she rightfully responded
that several of mine
were beyond the normal realm
of insanity
for the average woman

and
I suppose it was
in the back of my mind

thinking about it

cause

I was out last night
saw this band
with a french Canadian lead singer
whose voice sounded somewhat similar
to a gaggle of nuns being knife-raped

and this chick started
talking/schmoozing/hitting on me
she was pretty cute

definitely booty call type material
so
we schmooze for an hour or so
play a little pool
flirt casually
because I was feeling too lazy to do it actively

I don't even recall
how it came up
and
I suppose the correct thing to do
would be to truck out the standard
I was probably really drunk
excuse
but in truth I wasn't

so I got no real excuse
cept that it was one of those things
where you hear the words coming out of your mouth
without ever realizing you were thinking or going to say them

the look on her face was priceless
that complete inability to determine
how one responds to

"You are definitely cute enough to fuck but I don't think you are psycho enough for a serious relationship"