Thou Art God

Someone once asked me if I believed in God

To which I responded

"Absolutely ...
I had sex with him this morning"

somehow, I do not think that was the answer
they were looking for

you see

I believe

that I am god

not a god
or some god

as in some pagan or Greco-roman pantheon

but the god

the one and true god

I believe this
nay I know this with all my heart


"but he seems so normal, you never would believe he is a complete nutter"

maybe be the question
in your mind

but

I am nothing if not entirely sane
lucid
and understanding

I am God

You are God

We collectively are God

The difference between you and I
is that you deny your godliness
you fear yourself
your godliness

where I revel in mine
embrace my godliness
and
use it in joyful bliss


Let me ask you a simple question

Do you celebrate your success to the same degree you mourn your failures

Imagine a success and a failure of equal scope
which would you spend more time focusing on
thinking about?

More than likely
you dwell on your failures
it is human nature

unfortunately God does not know failure
so time spent dwelling on failure
is time separated from God
which may just be why it feels so lonely and painful

either way
doesn't it seem awfully unfair
to spend ninety percent of your life
doing things right
and ninety percent of your thoughts
worrying only about those things you did wrong

I think my glory in life
comes from the constant joy I get
for just being me

I like myself a lot
In fact
I could masturbate thinking
just about how great I am

I generally do not
because I would rather not spend
three or four days
trying to get a single orgasm
but
in concept
it is something I could do


How often do you sit alone
and just beam with joy
at the fact that you are you?

I do that all the time

In fact I don't know many people
who impress me more than myself
or at the very least
not as often


Today I was
Truly in touch with my Godliness
in most excellent form

quite surprising for a day
that started off with a dentist visit
one which I had been somewhat worried about

You see I had two reasons to be worried
the first was not only have I not been to a dentist in two years
but
the last time I went, the dentist said I needed about four fillings

the second is that I am immune to novocaine
and most of the "caine" family of painkillers
which are almost exclusively what dentists use

this means that every dental procedure I have had done
is effectively done without anesthetic

including a two day ordeal of a root canal
four channels over eight hours of time
no pain killers

although in recent years
I have been able to get nitrous
which does help me ignore the pain
quite a bit

anyway

I saw the dentist
got X-rays taken
he probed and prodded
and pronounce me clean

no cavities
no problems
see you in six months for your next cleaning

That fucking rocks

so

I was pretty stoked

I stopped off at extreme pita
grabbed lunch and returned home
to continue with the ongoing process
of setting up my house

I worked through the afternoon
enjoying the company of a particularly pleasant
conversation

moving furniture
locating various things
organizing all my art pieces in the spare bedroom
tomorrow I think I will start hanging pictures

I set up the living room
to my liking after some uncertainty
with how I should go about it

I came up with a solution
which I am quite happy with

( picture )

as you can see the TV and my DVD collection are tucked
quietly out of the way
until needed
instead of being the focus of the room

if I wish to watch a movie
I just slide the love seat back and to the left
into the corner
and then swing the end of the television out
so that it faces the room

simple and effective

next I unpacked
and cleaned the glass
for the dining room table

arranged the bar into the
corner cabinet
and cleared out everything
that didn't belong in the dining room

( picture )

After that is was time
it was time to get my bedroom
in order

( picture )

I must admit
just making my bed
with those eight hundred thread count sheet
which I had missed so much
these past weeks
made me want to have sex
[I have sheets that]
[are so luxurious, so soft and smooth]
[you cant help but want to get]
[naked and climb between them]

I am entirely convinced that
those sheets
and their nearly identical predecessors
are significantly responsible
for convincing
at least thirty percent
of the women I have slept with
to do so

It was probably the best single piece of advice
a horny young man could ever get

"Make your bed, into a place, women want to be naked"

let me take a moment
to raise my glass of chardonnay in salute
of that brilliant bastard

somewhere in this process
I took a moment to relax
and send my mother these flowers

( A nice autumnal bouqet )

in honor of this Sabbath day
and as a thank you for a kindness
which she did for me recently

Then I decided
it was time to deflower my kitchen

the first thing I had to do
was to clean the dishes
as one must wash every dish
when one moves

that I started to cook

I wanted something extravagant and luxurious in taste
and sensation
but
fairly easy and convenient
and most importantly
I did not want to go to the store

( the recipe is within )

I sat down to eat
a truly divine meal
with each bite
a wave of pleasure
reminding me of what an
amazing, talented and blessed fellow I am

Afterwards
I put the left overs into a zip lock baggie
clean up the last bits of the kitchen
poured myself another glass of wine
and sat down to enjoy my plate of fruits and cheeses
and reflect on that greatness
which is instill in me
that quintessence of dust

my phone rings
rousing me out of my own self gratified distraction
I answer it
and it is my mother
quite thrilled with the flowers I sent

we chat for a moment
and wish each other a pleasant
Sabbath day
pass on love to the rest of the family
and I hang up the phone

simple things really

everything mentioned above
but when done with deliberation
when recognized and rejoiced
these little simple success

our little daily glories

and
when strung together
one small day of humble glories
becomes a life of happiness
success
and true connects you
with the god that you are

so remember

Thou Art God

click there

http://members.cox.net/impunity/endofworld.swf

you might just pee your pants