Random thoughts and catch up

I went to yet another college party filled with damn good looking little girls but little girls just the same.
Little girls of the college variety actually scare me, women don't but those flippant lil girls do and I cant seem to win with some of them either
they are either offended because they think I am some old guy hitting on them
[for the record I have not hit on or being remotely sexual with a single girl at my school, nor do I plan to]
or they are offended because they realize I am not the slightest bit interested in hitting on them
ah well you cant please everyone
[hell I rarely even try to please anyone]
[women in my bed excepted of course]
but I would enjoy it more if people took their heads out of their asses, stopped taking life so seriously and just had a good time of course that wasn't really an issue tonight just something I have been thinking about recently. I had a good time, danced a bit, schmoozed a bit, went out for some late night food with some friends then back to my place to watch "the breakfast club" hadn't seen that in a while it was good to do so again

I didn't mention this yesterday cause I was in a good mood and didn't want to worry about it but a palestinian guy at my school made some extremely racist and offensive remarks in my general direction.
[he absolutely intended for me to hear them as I was standing less than three feet from him]
I let it slide then I generally let the first one slide and besides it was a party and while in most cases I wouldn't worry about it, it just so happens that we are assigned to the same project group for my poli-sci class
and quite frankly, I may let the first one slide but if he said shit like that again, I would explain most firmly that I do not appreciate it, this in my experience generally leads to a physical confrontation with such people
and I would like to avoid that however much a part of me would love to kick his ass.

it is a funny thing about me and violence
I really do not like being violent, not so much because I think violence is wrong but because being pissed off and feeling violent is no fun and I don't make a practice of spending my life dwelling on negative emotions. I have noticed that when the rare person manages to raise my ire, I generally end up getting pissed of at them because they pissed me off i.e. as a separate thing. I am pissed off cause of what he said and because the interaction left me feeling negative things sort of increases my desire to whoomp them exponentially. Anyway I thought about what to do and decided to request that the professor transfer me to a different group, I figure I really have two choices, either I can kick his ass or find a way not to be around him thought I would start with the latter and reserve the former for a slow news day *grin*

Just so yall know, I am horribly behind on my friends list but I am reading back, right now I am 525 entries back and working so don't be surprised if you get seemingly random comments on days old entries from me.

and in case yall didn't know, you're beautiful

that is all

Delusions of immortality ... or ... I plan on living forever and so far, so good

played bball with a group of guys from college
this afternoon, just got back in fact
it literally had been about five years since I played
took me a few to get used to handling the ball again
but after that it was all good

I did however have the most unpleasant revelation
that I am not eighteen anymore
[I could have sworn I marked out the growing old part of my contract]

I remember being like those guys
young dumb and full of cum
and I finally realized that I just aint young any more

now contrary to what you might think
I actually had no problem keeping up with them in the game
it wasn't until we had played for three hours
and were calling it a day that the cold hard truth hit me across the shoulders with an aluminum walker of old age

you see I was fine during the game
keep moving, keep focused, play hard
for me winning is never enough
I have to improve and push my skills and limitations
if all you want is to win at something it is easy
you just pick an opponent that sucks and victory is all but assured
[just look at Iraq for example]
It isn't about victory for me, it is about testing myself
what are my limits, how can I push them further
an unearned victory is a worthless one

anyway as always I digress
I gave em a run for their money
we were packing up for home
and that's when I started feeling the old age come on
then one of em looks around and says

"so what do yall wanna do now?"

I was appalled
shocked
flabbergasted
[ok not really]
but I was definitely ready to sit down
and not move for quite a long time

the younglings were kind enough to help me find my dentures
and see me off to my car before heading out to play frisbee for a while