random news, thoughts, whatever

so
I was talking with mother yesterday
about this wedding on Sunday

apparently she wants me to toast
the groom and bride

now I have no particular attachment to either of them,
and am only going to the wedding out of familial obligation
but I did grow up with the groom so I could whip up something
you know share an old memory from our childhood and wish them well
I am rather good at this sort of stuff

however I am not sure that he would want me too
I instructed mother to verify that this is indeed something he would want and let me know

you see, we may have grown up together
but were never really friends
he was a year younger than me
always trying to compete with me
for the position of group leader

unfortunately for him
I didn't consider myself the group leader
nor did I desire to be such
so
his efforts were largely thwarted out of misdirection
rather than any effort of mine

that was one of the problems of growing up
in the community that I did
everyone knew everything
all I wanted was to do what I wanted to do
with the few people I considered friends
and be left alone by the rest of em
instead I became something of a pariah to the parents
because of my independence and ingenuity
which of course made me something of a hero to the kids
this was of course a serious pain in the ass
because while my friends and I were good about keeping our mouths shut
as to get away with as much as possible
the rest of the neighborhood kids
couldn't keep their mouths shut if you paid em
this got me in a lot of trouble
and did not endear them to me much at all

so this kid who is getting married
was one of the worst of those
if we let him come along
he would brag about whatever we did
loudly enough that he would get caught
then I would get blamed for corrupting him
and seven shades of shit would come down on me

hence the reason we never became friends

now on one hand
for the above reasons among others
he has never been exactly a popular fellow
so I figure to be toasted by one of his peers at his wedding
might be a nice gesture

on the other hand
if the situation was reversed growing up
I wouldn't want him toasting at my wedding

ah well
weird shit
I will just write something brief up
just in case

in related news
I am getting the feeling more and more from mother
that she is tired of waiting for me to get married

I am not terribly thrilled by this change in our relationship
not that I have any aversion to getting married in theory
I just haven't found anyone who I am willing to think about marrying in a long time

I think mother is expecting me to whittle down my expectations some
and just start producing her some more grandchildren
If mother had her way
my list of criteria would be this

childbearing hips
pretty
likes bourbon straight
has a brain [use is optional]
likes motorcycles

yep I think that's about it
of course items 2-5 would be completely optional in her mind
but hell, I have to have some minimal standards don't I

anyway this is not a call for propositions
just random musings on my part
if I was to pare the list of criteria that small
I would probably not bother getting married
but do not tell mother that

anywho
I am off to the gym
been doing double sets all week
and it feels great