(no subject)

my watch stopped at exactly 11:24 this evening
I did not realize it had stopped
until a moment ago

it was most disconcerting
that is all

(no subject)

sometimes I wonder
what life would be like
if I was average
subject to the rules and limitations
as the common man

little things get on my nerves
like the book I had been waiting to read
it was part of my motivation to finish up with finals
a treat if you will

well I read it today in two hours
the entire thing
some four hundred pages

It was good
but just wasnt long enough
to counter this mornings misery
reading yet another banal russian play

I wonder what it would be like
to have people look at me
without a certain sense of unrelatability
without the dawning realization that I live in an entirely different world

the other day
I met another twenty seven year old freshman
at my school
we talked for a while
he is quite bright but not brilliant
he is crammed into a tiny apartment
while I have a three bedroom to myself
I made more money last year
than he has made in his entire life

we could talk politics
social values
but the enormous gulf
between what I saw as possible
and the limitations he accepted for himself

dont get me wrong here
I am not seeking your pity or consolation
but I think people often see my world
as entirely different than it is
as some sort of fairy tale

pride comes before the fall
I was reminded the other night
during a discussion with an amazingly annoying woman
who couldnt keep her hands off my knees

before all others
it is my sin