from the onion of course

Excerpt from recent press release by god....
or
[what part of "thou shall not kill" do you not understand?]

"I don't care what faith you are,
everybody's been making
this same mistake since the dawn of time,"
God said.

"The Muslims massacre the Hindus,
the Hindus massacre the Muslims.

The Buddhists,
everybody massacres the Buddhists.

The Jews,
don't even get me started
on the hardline, right-wing,
Meir Kahane-loving Israeli nationalists, man.

And the Christians?
You people believe in a Messiah who says,
'Turn the other cheek,'
but you've been killing everybody
you can get your hands on since the Crusades."

et es