chance encounter of cowardice

I
during the course
of performing my
daily duties at
my place of employment
I was
introduced
to a
young lady
by the name of

Denisa

I inquired if
her family
was
italian
in the course
of common
conversation
but
did not
have the courage
to ask
if she had
a twin

named

Denisb

Love, Amusement, Gratitude and Devious women

ok
maybe not
devious women
but
the rest is true

so I
in my usual
mad panic at around 11 am
rushed out of the house
to get to work

and like the rabbit
I screamed
repeatedly

I'M LATE

I'M LATE

which I of course
always am

this particular morning
although
in the same fashion
as the others
existed more dire
need to arrive
quickly at the office

as
I was
most rudely awakened to
several servers going
down and people screaming
for me to fix them

unfortunately
I was not
as I should have been
at the office

however
using my magical powers
of misdirection
and telekinesis
I was able
to resolve one problem
put a second into a stable
orbit so that I could
get into the office and
deal with it

and the third
send that loser off
on a wild goose chase
that should last
at least the hour or so
which I need to get
into the office
and wrap up 1 and 2

rather brilliant if
I may say so myself
which
I obviously just did

of course
everything you have just read
is completely irrelevant to the
subject I know
I am terrible that way

tell me
do you feel disappointed?

anyway
back to my original point

so in my mad
panic to get dressed
and assuming some semblance
of professional appearance
I rapidly attempted to
style my hair while
throwing a sweater
over my shoulders,
fastening my belt,
and applying shoes
to my feet.

yes
all three at once

I suppose I should
have assumed that
the quality of all
would suffer from
the lack of attention

and
considering my
pants feel down,
my shoes were half on,
and my sweater

well my sweater was on backward

I think perhaps
I should not have
just assumed
that my hair was
successfully managed.

and
perhaps
I would not have
as
I corrected my
shoes,
raise my pants
and turned
around my sweater.

but my lovely
sweet
darling
light of my life

or
as you know
her the
delightful Amber
paused after
giving me a delicious
morsel of a kiss
and
complimented my
hair

which I suppose
I took to say
of the two dozen things
I was attempting to do
simultaneously

I managed
to
do one
right

however
I was greatly mistaken

you know how they say

when you assume
you make "an ass out of you and me"
well

that's not technically accurate
here

as
I only made an
ass out of myself

you see
my hair
which is quite short
will stick straight up

ala

Don King
after a terrible encounter with

"Weed Whacker Man"

generally
I apply a small amount
of styling wax
and
proceed to flatten it all down
and push it forward
for my own sort of
haphazard style

and
if I may say so myself
it work rather well

so
I arrive at work
in a panic
wearing a
unique ensemble of
hair

styled expressly for me
by

"Don King & The WeedWhacker Man Salons"
(Fresno, CA - Bend, OR - Boise, ID - Bumfuck,Egypt)

need
I say more?