An ode to friendship

When you are sad,.............
I will get you drunk
and help you plot
revenge against the
scum sucking bastard
who made you sad.

When you are blue,..........
I'll try to dislodge whatever
is choking you.

When you smile,............
I'll know you finally got laid.

When you are scared,.........
I will rag you about it
every chance I get.

When you are worried,.........
I will tell you horrible stories
about how much worse it
could be and to quit whining.

When you are confused,........
I will use little words to explain
it to your dumb ass.

When you are sick.........
Stay away from me until your
well again, I don't want
whatever you have.

When you fall......
I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath...............
I pledge till the end.

Why you may ask?........

Because you're my friend.