The Return

Well
I survived
it was amazing

4 beautiful days

when we arrived at Whistler
its was looking like
there would be very little snow
and skiing would only be on the glacier

we awoke to
thick white blanket
covering everything

in thanks to the snow gods
I paid tribute
even managed to
convince several of my friends
to join me

in a naked
bare footed
run
around the quad
or open green area
in the middle of the condo
development

Of course it
was near 6am
so I don't think
we scarred
the minds of
too many little children

It didn't stop snowing
for the entire trip
by the second day
we were breaking in
knee deep powder
on the third
it was waste deep

the schedule was this
up at 7am
first chair at 8:30am
Ski till 4pm
Jacuzzi till 6pm
nap till 7:30pm
dancing and drinking till 4am
nap till 7am
repeat
four days in a row
(yes this has been censored in order to receive a pg-13 rating)

Of course
no tale of skiing
can be regaled
without an appropriate
rendition
of the wipe out

I was traveling
at speeds approximating
50 miles per hour
towards a jump
which I had being
delightfully embarking from
all day
pulled off some nice stunts
including a beautiful heli
and an extended back flip (even though I didn't land that so gracefully)
I swoop down upon the lip of the jump
pop off beautifully
unfortunately for me
my skis did as well

so there I am
for an eternity
twenty or so feet off the ground
with out skis to aid my landing
watching the ground pass beneath my feet
now I will refer you to
the previous paragraph
where I estimated my speed at around 50mph
thinking
ok this
isn't good
this may just
hurt

a lot

and
it did

If I am lucky
I should get a nice
bruise on my chest
from the impact
and the powder
which saved me from broken bones
tasted mighty nice
as I slid face first
twenty yards down the mountain

and while
it is always nice to be appreciated
the cheers from the people
on the lift overhead
chants of
"Yard Sale! .... give ya $20 for that pole"

brought little solace
as I hiked up the mountain
to collect my poles and hat
and down the mountain
to collect my skis

so today
we mournfully
packed up our vehicles
with talk of quitting our respective jobs
and becoming ski bums
drove back home

and now
I crash

night my loves
dream pleasant dreams
of sinful things
and soft white powders

kiddie crack and other obsessions

it seems I am on a spree
of buying DVDs
today I bought

American History X
Pleasantville
Eraser
True Romance
Goodfellas
Pitch Black

and some ditzy blonde rear ended me
as if I wasn't already in enough pain as it was

no damage to my car
but I got one hell of a headache now
to add to my general aches and pains
from skiing

thank god for codeine

Joys of the Internet

now you can meet

millions of losers

:-)