the ones we love

[plural]

i have friends
as i am
sure
all of us do
or
at least we should
as
most of us
are
somewhat decent
human beings
but anyway

i have friends
who insist on
forwarding every
insipid piece of tripe
that appears in their
e-mail

i have tried
to gently
educate them
that
this is in
poor taste
and annoying as hell

but they
just dont get it

i think there must be
an
ignore
trite bullshit gene
that
they are missing

i dont know
but the crap
that shows up
in my inbox
is beyond compare
in
the level of
inane stupidity

speaking of inane
stupidity

someone
got the bright idea
in their head
to
mirror wax
the bathroom floor
of
a restroom
i visited lately

now
normally
I love super-waxed floors
you can
glide across them
and have much fun

but this sort of fun
is neither accommodated
by space nor
function
in a small restroom
and

speaking of function
have you ever tried
urinating while your
legs are slowly
sliding
sliding
sliding
apart

most
unsettling

the fear of
slipping
and
suffering a
most humiliating
urinary accident
haunts me still

speaking of
urinary accidents

my cat is sick
[our cat she reminds me]
[most correctly]
so yesterday
we schlepped him
into the cat carrier
and took him to the vet

he must have realized the
destination
and
marked his disfavor
by promptly
urinating within
the box as
amberangel
removed said box
from the car

i noticed
the stream from the
corner of the box
and
tried to warn her
but
she was otherwise
occupied
mewing to that poor kitty
and
would not allow
her concentration
to be broken
until
that
stream was running down
her
leg

she was
most
perturbed

so
the vet gave us
this
foul yellow
mucus
he calls medicine
to drown our
poor cat with
twice daily

on the plus side
he
seems to be feeling
better

speaking of
medicine

it is time for
the poor bastard
to choke down
another dose.