Brunching on coconut creams and shuttlecocks

[plural]

Someday I hope to be known --
like the noble baboon --

for my large,
razor sharp fangs
and colorful buttocks.

I want to hear people say.

"He certainly has
strikingly vibrant
ass-cheeks,
but he'll flay you
with his fangs
if you cross him."

Not that I'd actually
flay anyone.
I'd probably just
use my fangs
to open beer cans
and make indentations in the soil
for planting pumpkin seeds.